"Old New England Traits"
When Helen said...: “REALLY? You SAY that?”... the Savage mansion; the ‘under the shroud’ Savage mansion... ‘ended’.
I ‘ended’. I surrendered... the Savage mansion contents to... the ‘new’ New England; the New England right side up; the congested New England. Falling back and fading away failed? The Savage mansion was over run? Instead of being ‘beyond’; within the protected border fort line of old New England resisting the blanket (quilt) of congestion... the Savage mansion was ‘abandoned to the enemy’? By me; by my conscious choice?
Helen’s response to my declaration of “THIS IS WORTH A FORTUNE. IN HERE. Just as it is.” WAS exactly the response I sought from my utterance. I ...in rout and panic (?) retreat from a position of falling back and fading away... released a ‘that special arrow’ pulled hurriedly from my antiquarian quiver and... shot at Helen... in her white SUV. I hit her square in her chrome front grill with that special arrow. That special arrow almost always kills almost everything every time. It is the ‘how much is it worth’ arrow.
Helen was down and flopping before me; on the floor of the dark library. NOISES I associate with people having just purchased a new car gurgled from her. Writhing... turned her summer dress into faux seamed white PLASTIC upholstery. Navigation equipment announced that she was recalculating. Dual exhaust fumes filled the room with ‘no air’.
I said... to her spastic form... “Go to Hell’.
FROM NOW ON
It is I... who falls back and fades away.
It is I... who says ‘Go to Hell”
Mechanically execute the complete – full – in-every-detail-a-done-deal-covered SYSTEMANTIC rummaging, ransacking, looting, carrying off AND “had the dislocation of the one and the tatters of the other repaired”***. (Oh yes; every THING is... ‘fixed’).
In chapter six (D); the chapter that introduces congestion in New England, congestion’s influential power, the white SUV as congestion’s headless horseman and, too, the fall back and fade away tactic, I wrote:
“I also understood that ...although taking a considerable amount of time to accomplish... the destiny of the Savage estate was to ‘fall back and then fade away”.... into the forests of (Northern) New England... Confronted by congestion... New England... is... ‘falling back and fading away’. Should one know this it is best to not ‘forget’ it. “Not knowing of” is the pervasive and dominant ... ‘whatchamacallit’.
I also wrote:
“This state of congestion... is the force that eases ‘forgetting’ and camouflages ‘not knowing about’. It is the paved parking lot of New England with the rest being... ‘run off’.”
When I surrendered the Savage Estate... to New England right side up; the congestion... in order to save myself (?) ...by ‘Go to Hell’ falling back and fading away... do I understand that it (the Savage estate) becomes... run off... from the paved parking lot of congestion... ‘that eases... and camouflages’?
Yes I do and that only enhances my hiss of “Go to Hell”.
What does that mean? It means that:
Yes I did... and still do... ‘mechanically execute’ the Savage Estate.
What does THAT mean?
It is, pleasingly, a complex ‘spirit rope tied back upon... and often woven into... itself’... for... just... I.
Alone... like a janitor at an old ...sanatorium... for the nervous nerves of... New England right side uppers... I
Fill my truck with... run off... from the Savage Mansion and...
smug-quick and quiet hand ...ed ...ly
At a flea market
“No questions asked”
As... the nervous nerves EXPECT of me.
I... equivocate... to expostulate... among those who pontificate
The “vision”, the “direction”, the “transcending history” and the “administration”
Of the Savage mansion
“As it is today”.
( “ ” From it’s ‘Annual Report’)
But... here and now:
I... was forty seconds past Helen’s “REALLY... You SAY that?”: Her ‘accepts the terms’... of my surrender. I was staring off and upward toward the front outer corner of the room’s book shelves, past the secretary... but not capturing the shroud covered looking glass in my view. (I am) “Dressed like Eileen Fisher.” I said.
“SHE’S NOT COMING BACK HERE.” Helen said.
Helen’s “Eileen Fisher” does not have to come back. She is here.
“It makes this so much easier... to do this... when I dress like Eileen Fisher.”
To this day.