Friday, January 29, 2016

Thread Bare (Threadbare) (Rug) Care (Dare) - Part Three

Thread Bare (Threadbare) (Rug) Care (Dare)

Part Three

            It is an old joke; the pool table one (Part One)... about old rugs.  I explain in the John Henry aside how the old rug came to the old New England houses.  For an old rug hunter such as myself and my fellows, the joke that a true ‘good’ (“great”) old rug would have found its way to a house and then... there... be used to ‘cover the pool table’...:  That means to I (eye) that this old rug lives in a very protected state where no one walks on it and no pets pee on it.  “Covering a pool table”.  It is only ‘touched’ when the pool table is used.  So... “super protected” so... “GREAT CONDITION”.  Okay?  And how many old New England homes have old New England pool tables covered with old New England ‘oriental’ ‘rugs’.  Get the joke.  Right?

            But the intended expression is pure... leading to a pure perception of “COULD” there be a that kind of “GREAT” ‘rug’ “IN THERE” and, if so, “WHERE?”.  The answer to ‘could’ is yes and I ...explain in John Henry how the rugs ‘got there’.  “Where?” is by vigilant deductive logic:  Where in the house?  Could they be?  The... GUEST BEDROOM.  For example.  “Oh”.  The room is never used so the rugs are never walked on (peed on).  And:  The things in that room are usually not a “I BOUGHT” decorative selection (say “our sofa”).  They are usually and mostly “THINGS” that are “just HAVE” (given by family to family... over decades and generations).  The guest bedroom is probably the safest place for finding ANY and ALL sorts of old New England decorative art in “great” condition including the ‘really old rugs of natural dyes and bold geometric patterns from the Victorian 1880’s ...and older’.  Now I’ve told you a secret of where to look at Grandmother’s house the next time your there.  And I do find ‘rugs’ there too; good ones... with little threadbare wear and with comparatively little pet ‘usage’.

            So now we know why I am ‘there’ (in the old New England estate), what I am seeking, where I am looking and what am I finding.  And your still, like, “measuring”.  Carrying that a step forward I... explain ...that YOU... do not need to have ANY of these rugs ‘explained’ to you.  I JUST USE MY EYE (art eye).  So I do not have to do a lot or even LOOK at a lot.  It takes ONE SECOND to ‘sense’ if a ‘old threadbare rug’ is a “GOOD ONE” 

            The rugs I am speaking of; am in quest for (hunt for) are ANTIQUES.  I remind.  I am an antiques dealer.  I remind.  I do not seek stylized decorative floor coverings made in the past century (20th) and now foisted in this century (21st) with design enhancements inclusive of the particularly galling ‘copies’ of ‘older rugs’.  This last group is epidemic ‘in homes’.  I am actually ‘shown’ them... and have to explain... I-am-an-antiques-dealer-I-seek-antiques.  That doesn’t work.  These ‘new rugs’ are very ‘not threadbare’ and are ‘pee free’.  Too.

            So now I’ve spoken of an actual ‘old (real-good-threadbare-rug) style’ that is a knowing and fast paced threadbare rug ‘super store’ that floats above the traditional Wasp threadbare status valuation.  That is fine.  The old threadbare market is just fine and truly imbedded.  The only thing that is ever more lacking is the... “little rug at the end of the hall that’s the only one he wanted and I’ve always hated that rug because it never lay flat so I sold it to him”... rug.  That is... ‘the good rug’ ‘in there’ (the estate).  Since most homes do not know (distinguish critically) their rugs and, too, have a (rug) blind eye to them TOO... the ‘that one rug there’ extraction of the ‘good rug’ from the estates in the past seventy years is... a done deal.  The only thing that loosens this tight reality is that the market for ever more unbelievably worn rugs has... and continues... to improve... so more true antique old worn rugs ‘in there’ are now of interest.  THAT sort of rug is my number one find.  The pool table rug is long gone but its threadbare friends are ‘still around’.  “Scattered”... like... scatter rugs.

            Meanwhile another iconic thunder cloud needs notice before it disturbs your threadbare intrigue and the ‘old New England home’ ...Wasp ways... residence of these same old rugs.  It is blunt and brutal.
            Old rug dealers... who are not antiques dealers but are (“oriental”) RUG.... DEALERS... have been at this a long time, have a full rolling industry of rugs and old rugs and... much... more.  The last of the much more is to understand and remind yourself that going rug hunting at a ‘one of those’ (rug dealer stores) is NOT the same as going rug hunting in Grandmother’s guest bedroom.  It CAN BE (I’ll get back to this)... but most often ‘is not’.  What I am saying in blunt is that these rug stores are very... very-very skilled at making a rug of any dubious you want appear to be much more of what you are hunting for... with a ‘for a price’.  That last is key.  IF... one goes that way one will
            In my opinion it is pay way more.  True antique threadbare ...threadbare... New England home rugs are found cheap and are ‘too far gone’... so are not worth ‘working on’ to ‘make them better’.  Lesson?  Stay with cheap estate rugs (under five hundred) and leave the ‘slicked up’ ($1600. – 5K) at the store.  Go to a store sometime just to flip tags and get the ‘look and feel’ of the... Operation.  It is not like grandmother’s guest bedroom... there.  Nor are the rugs like the ones IN that guest bedroom.  Unless (the... ‘I’ll get back to this’... from above):

            There is always a chance that Granny actually regularly bought a ‘whole house full’ of these slicked up ‘orientals’ from one or two or three of these ‘rug stores’ and NOW she’s dead and they (these slicked up rugs) are being sold and... you... are there.  No problem.  Whatever you buy... cheap... will be okay because... they are easily salable within the ‘old Wasp threadbare market’.  It doesn’t matter if they are a ‘painted reweave piece of crap’.  That market does
            Not care.
            I sell my ‘these’ to the... flea market rug vender... “no problem”.  My wife never even ever even slightly mentions this sort of rug when I ‘have it’.  No.  She wants
            Real antique rugs.

            Here we go.  It is ‘we’ ‘go’ now... too.  YOU have been ‘spoken with’ about this threadbare thing and now... have been told
            That should suggest a recalibration of your “there’s one” in your old estate floor covering peeking.  Yes... NOW all the rugs do not ‘look’ the same anymore... because now... know... more.  The recalibration is the... sophistication... of your eye (“I”).
            And taste.

            Okay.  Here we go now... again.  Taste.  Yes... “THAT”.  Real time real life floor covering taste; the big picture... rescues US from all of this by blatantly showing by actual inspection that ... ‘most people’ do not... DO NOT... have... anything to do in anyway with the threadbare old Wasp ‘oriental’ rug...... rugs... in any way at all... ever.  Go take a look at what real people put on their floors and... obsessively... make me look at.  I WOULD PAY THEIR DOG to pee on “that” (their ‘rugs’).  What all of this I am writing about... is... of... and about... and embraced... and ‘ground stood on’... is of a very... very-very small group of ‘care’:  Wasp threadbare rugs... and... Wasp threadbare rugs ‘good ones’.  It’s a ‘taste’ and NO ONE ELSE HAS IT (that taste).  And... what rug (floor covering) taste the ‘they’ have
            Is scary
            And ‘in bad taste’ (“tacky”).  Try once the voyeur voyeuring by a one of ‘them’ looking at a ...larger natural dyed bold geometric earth tone ‘all wool’ Victorian (1880) “Caucasian” THREAD BARE ‘good one’ that you proudly purloined from a prominent local estate sale...:  Once will be enough... to discover just HOW ALONE in floor covering taste... you are
            These days.

            YOU want REAL RUGS now that you know and ...the whole God damn world thinks you’re a idiot... in addition to having bad taste... when YOU proudly put “THAT?” on your floor.  “THAT” (this sophisticated rug eye floor placing event) makes old Wasp estate threadbare pet pee layering threadbare STYLE appear ‘stable’; “a little eccentric” but, “you know”, ‘stable’.
            So there you are.  The better the rug, the more threadbare it is... because the ‘these good rugs’ are ever more coveted (as antiques) so are protected more and... are more ever more threadbare because that is all there is (is left) of these... real antiques... and you knowing this, discovering this, seeing this...; you quickly TOO become enamored with ‘your these rugs’; the qualities of ‘good’ threadbare rugs ON YOUR FLOOR so...

            It seems
            That the delicate world of Wasp threadbare rugs has a very serious aura of Wasp threadbare TASTE... that is a known STYLE of Wasp threadbare...
            THAT YOU(?) WANT.
            Even though ‘people think you’re an idiot’.
            These are the rugs I sell; the ‘my rugs’.
            They always sell.
            I never ‘have any’.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Thread Bare (Threadbare) (Rug) Care (Dare) - Part Two

Thread Bare (Threadbare) (Rug) Care (Dare)

Part Two

            For the reader’s ease, I reprint in full below the ‘aside’ on threadbare rugs I wrote within the story “John Henry”.  It is in “Part Three” but reads (stands well) as an aside.  I have included the pre-sentences and the last “NOW I GET IT” to remind that this aside is written in support of a larger topic; the Wasp estate contents as a whole and its perception of that (estate contents) by the family and heirs.  Threadbare rugs are just one object of the story.  Should one be interested in Wasp estate contents, one should read the whole story... and the many other Wasp related writing I have posted.  Click the label “WASP” and review all the labels to find all kinds of writing on this subject; old New England antiques from old New England homes.

From “John Henry Part Three”:

            ...Within that rumination... about the “CAMP” ...that also included the coastal mansion... “that’s full TOO and IS actually worth a million dollars... TOO”...  I developed a side rumination that went back to my private anger management issues of ‘just what is all this and who are these creepy heirs anyway.  That lead to the inner ruminations of ‘they never bought anything ever (antiques) , they’ve always had all this stuff  (antiques) in there anyway, since they (the antiques) have always been there no one notices them or cares because that just... the way... it is... stupid.  YOU (me) ARE THAT WAY TOO, stupid.
            NOW I GET IT.
            What am I getting?
            It is subtle.  I will use a specific example... found in these estates; a big time specific example:  ‘Threadbare rugs’.
            A ‘threadbare rug’ is a traditional... outside the antiques realm... title for rugs (“carpeting”) found on the floors of WASP homes.  More close to home; NEW ENGLAND... Maine... WASP homes.  Generally, in this region, they are ‘scatter rugs’ with an occasional LARGE (usually a single specimen) ‘room size’ ‘oriental’ and some more medium sized ‘room size’ ‘orientals’ appearing in, foremost in order, the living room, the dining room, the ‘den’... or ‘library’ or ‘TV room’ or... whatever they call ‘that room’.  They are; the scatter rugs and the ‘room size’... old, worn ‘oriental rugs’ AND... for scatter AND TOO (but very rarely) for ‘room size’, old, worn ‘homemade’ braided or hooked ‘rugs’ that are ON... in rising order of WASP New England aesthetic... ‘hard wood floors’... ‘old stone (slate tile) floors’, ‘parquet floors’ and, at the top... old, worn, with old finish remnants, 18th and early 19th century ‘wide pine floors’.  No vinyl.  No wall-to-wall. No refinished, sanded and varnished hardwoods or pine.  At all.  Ever.
            This last is key... to ‘now I get it... stupid’.  A refinished WASP floor-on-display specimen... is pandemic these days.  They are “EVERYWHERE” so assure the premium exclusivity of those NOT ‘ruined’ ‘by doing that’.  In the two estates visited in this tale so far... one hardwood floored, one 19th century wide pine... NEITHER estate has ‘refinished’ ANY floor EVER.  The only... ONLY.... ONLY ‘surface’ ‘treatment’ or ‘work’ done to ‘them’ is an occasional ‘spill’ and... and ...and.... family pets peeing on them.  That last is a fundamental symbol of WASP floor treatment.  The next (and only further) fundamental treatment is putting ‘threadbare rugs’ on top of the ‘dog peed on it’ floor wood.  What those threadbare rugs are and how they are placed is the coup de grace KEY to this KEY.
            Properly done... the threadbare rug coverage is comprehensive with layers of old threadbare scatter rugs ‘piled’ on top of one another ...sort of... that is... truly ‘scattered’ and that these layered, scattered threadbare rugs are of all different sorts, ages, conditions, sizes, colors, patterns, types and ‘being’ from sources UNKNOWN over as many generations as possible... with no one ever moving them, lifting them, touching them, looking at them and ONLY ‘family pets peeing on them’... with no one doing anything about that most of the time because, usually, they “didn’t see that”.  The older the resident, the more ‘didn’t see that’.
            A counter pendulum swing shows best the DEPTH of this WASP ‘threadbare’ ‘thing’.  In a refinished floor setting one most often finds ‘placed’ ‘rugs’.... including actual true ‘threadbare rugs’ ‘displayed’.  These tend to be ...selectively and consciously acquired ‘rugs’ ‘displayed.  On ‘restored’ floors.  Getting it?
            Most often many of these displayed rugs are ‘too new’, ‘too good’ and too not threadbare enough (“I’M NOT GOING TO PUT THAT ON MY FLOOR I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY!”) so ‘self eliminate’ any chance of ‘doing it right’.  That’s right; doing it right... is a lot harder and more comprehensive (including dollar outlay) that one ever would imagine.  THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT REAL.  And the “now I get it... stupid”.
            There are two avenues for I to further report.
            The first is easy.  It starts with the summarial point of the second:  I grew up with this; the threadbare rug ‘thing’.
            Since I grew up with myself standing, crawling, lying, watching TV, sitting in front of a fire with, on and ALL of ‘threadbare rugs’ including all the pet pee... I ‘am that way’ about all this so... never gave it a thought EITHER.  Except, of course, that from day one of ‘being an antiques dealer’ I ‘bought and sold’ ‘them’ (threadbare rugs of ALL types) ALWAYS.
            So one day this very well to do snobby New England family grand-dame MRS. comes to I and says “I want to buy some rugs”.
            “WELL” I say, “MRS. ***** YOU KNOW that MOST ALL of the rugs I SELL are very worn and dirty so I can hardly imagine that ANYTHING I have to offer EVER would appeal to you”.
            “On the contrary” she replied, “I am coming to you because I know that you sell EXACTLY that and THAT is the type of rugs I need to BUY.”
            “AH... BUT... MRS.*****.”
            “NOW LISTEN.  I have just bought a house in Exeter (NH) and its DREADFULL but the FLOORS are original so I NEED some rugs.  And I come to you because I KNOW you KNOW the rugs I NEED:  I NEED RUGS that I can say came from my grandmother.”
            Period... but reminding to note her valuing the floor wood condition.  SHE; ‘Mrs.; proceed to ...over a TEN YEAR period ‘buy’ threadbare rugs and LAYER THEM.... not display them... on her ...wide pine wood floors ‘original untouched’.  The only thing she ever has done to the floors and the rugs is have ...the family pets pee on them.
            She may have (I acknowledge her craftiness) actually encouraged this last.  Is this; the smell of old pet pee... a New England WASP estate ‘thing’.  Yes it is.
            The second is ‘get it stupid’ ‘I do’ why?  Because it is “I”.  Too.  Like the rest of ‘em all I am always ‘in there’; the estates, too.  Always, since birth, I am there... threadbare.
            Beyond the simplistic of growing up so threadbare...  it is so ‘is that way’, so ‘I am that’’, so... stand on it sniffing to old pet pee WITHOUT realizing that it IS DIFFERENT from ‘other people’ so creates ... that I DO need to... ‘now I get it... stupid’.
            “Why then this peed on bare threads?” one asks?
            “Because of where it comes from.”
            “Come from?  Threadbare rugs comes from somewhere?”
            “Yes.  And it is a Maine seafaring saga.  Once, a long, long time ago on the coast of Maine and New England, daring sea captains traveled the world round buying and selling cargos for profit.  In the Middle East, a regional market of trade, the boat cargo was sold and the boat cargo was bought and ... this last was loaded aboard to be homeward bound to be ...sold... at the dock of an exotic port like Portland or Bucksport MAINE and... AND the sailors packed that cargo tight in the belly of the ship and ... in the Middle East they wadded that cargo tight with... old ‘old oriental rugs’ they could get for NOTHING on the shore; from on the ground in old tents. It packed the cargo so, so, tight that the sailor took ALL of the rugs they could possibly find ....and many of these were ‘threadbare’ and worn so no good to anyone except for packing... and... off they sailed.
            At the coastal Maine port the cargo was unloaded and sold and... the old threadbare worn rugs tossed off the boat onto the dock where... for free... men in horse drawn wagons and wheelbarrows loaded them and hauled them away and... went ever further inland peddling them to... to.... TO:  Old Maine Farms.  While keeping the ‘better ones’ to ‘sell’ to the homes ‘on the coast’.
            Denuded of their old rugs; the Middle East was STRIPPED, by Yankee sea captains.  The result is that the threadbare worn rugs peddled and placed on the FLOOR OF THE BARN of the ‘old Maine farm’ can often be a ...17th, 18th or 19th century ‘authentic tribal weaving’ and THE BEST PLACE IN THE WHOLE WORLD to find a “THAT” is... New England.  In old undisturbed estates... with undisturbed floors... covered with ‘layered’ old ‘scatter’ rugs.  That the family pets from six generations ...have peed on.
            I grew up with oriental scatter rugs on the floor of the barn.  I never ever questioned that.  I DID learn... pretty fast... as an antiques dealer... that those scatter rugs are ‘good’.  In my opinion, this corrupted my eye... to the actual pure tradition.  I ‘know’ a ‘good one’... from quite a distance.  In true threadbare estates... like these of the story, discrimination of good is a... never.  Scattered is truly scattered... quality.  No knowing eye ‘ever’.  That’s what I had to remind myself of with the “NOW I GET IT” “STUPID”.  They; the heirs, were right in their behavior toward their estate’s contents and their floors and floor coverings PROVED IT.
            “NOW I GET IT.”

Thread Bare (Threadbare) (Rug) Care (Dare) - Part One

Thread Bare (Threadbare) (Rug) Care (Dare)

Part One

            I suppose that it is okay for I to return to ‘something I wrote’ and fuss with it.  I suppose.  If I didn’t write it then that (fussing with it) could be a different and difficult matter.  I suppose.  But I do not have ‘that issue’.  No.  I wrote it (upon this subject) and it still stands and still seems to be a ‘popular read’.  I am spoken to of it and the ‘this’ (still popular read).  That is a measure of success isn’t it?
            No.  Especially if the readers are goofy about it.  What could be goofy about reading about pets peeing on domestic (WASP) floor coverings?  The smirk and the ‘get that off of your face’.

            In the story chapter (blog post) “John Henry – Part Three” I tirade as an aside from the main tale about ‘old’ ‘threadbare’ ‘oriental’ ‘rugs’ on the old floors of old New England Wasp estates.  I go on for quite a bit and, having just reread the whole aside, I am pleased to report that I find it ‘stands’.  ‘Well’.  Still.  Pet pee... and thee... on thy

            I had to go back and look at it for I was, again, watching (from my comfortable position as a dealer in the antiques trade) the fumbling and affected fussing of ... Wasp threadbare rug shopping shoppers and their
            (The fumbling and the affected fussing).  Look:  If the shopping shoppers knew what they ‘are doing’... the fussing would not be affected.  As they do not ‘know’ and are also ‘doing’... it sidesteps into affected.  That’s not very pleasant is it... especially when it includes a goofy smirk and the...
            Lack of any sense that a someone who does know (“no”) something is watching this live drama for their own entertainment.
            That’s right and it IS worth the very nominal ‘price’ to ‘see the show’.

            They do not want to be spoken with.  So I don’t.  Ever.  No... they do not want to hear the words ‘sniff test’*** and... should they hear that from ME they... will mention it to me ever after (decades, over and over).  Is the conflict of the discovery that the rugs DO smell ‘that way’ (pet pee) and that ...that... IS a ‘supposed to be THAT’ IF they are the real Wasp threadbare... on your floor.  “I missed that.” you say?

*** “The Sniff Test” is a quick sniff given by a potential buyer to “see” if the item “smells”; “Does it pass the sniff test?”.  The sniff test is given to a real lot of ‘things’ I find in ‘estates’... for obvious reasons.  Old threadbare dirty pet peed on “scatter” rugs “is a no brainer” for a sniff test.  If it is ‘really bad’ (smelling) it is “yellow”; dealer slang for ‘makes your eyes water’:  “It’s a good rug but nasty yellow”.

            So then it gets a little more frustrated.  Doesn’t it.  YOU were just trying to “LOOK” at “THE RUG” and... that’s why you were fussing with it; rolling it out after pulling it out of a ...pile... of piles of old rugs that... “WHY THAT ONE SWEETHEART IS IT THE PATTERN/COLORS?”  No.
            “IT’S THE RIGHT SIZE”
            “I THINK”.

            Shopping (old threadbare rug) shoppers who don’t know (‘old’ “oriental” ‘rugs’) shouldn’t ‘think’ when they are ‘at that’.  A words of advice.  It (think) is like looking over the shoulder at the back side... of your ‘back there’... in the mirror... with this being done by an “Am I being watched?’

            Already we have quite a snarl... haven’t we.  And it is supposed to be so EASY.  Just find the ratty old rugs at estate sales and BUY THEM and ‘put them down’ and “What’s that smell dear?” and “IT’S SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE THAT” and:
            It turns out it is ‘not an old one’ whatever that means and ‘isn’t THAT worn’ because “I’m not really gonna put that on MY floor” anyway and ANYWAY the ONE RUG (at the sale) that DID look like that “SOME MAN” rolled right up and BOUGHT IT before I could even LOOK AT IT.  “I see that MAN at the sales all the time but I’ve never spoken with him”.

            Okay so what is all that about?  Well... if they are... old estate rugs that are truly old estate rugs then there ‘could be’ ‘a good one’ the ‘this MAN’ says and he’s there to get it (them) he says too.  So I want him to ‘tell me about that’; “INFORM ME” and thought he understood that I wanted to see the rug he bought and rolled right up but he paid for it and only said it was worn and dirty and ‘needed to be cleaned’.  I think.  The one I bought wasn’t too worn and is the right size.  I think.  But he (the man) was right that the colors are what I’d call ‘too bright’ and HE called “garish” and something about ‘natural dyes’.
            What does he look for?  “Old rugs natural dyes 1880’s Victorian bold geometric”.  Something like that he said.  He just laughed when I said the WEAR on it (the rug he bought) SEEMED” but he still wouldn’t let me look at it (his rug) and said “They didn’t use it to cover the pool table” whatever that means.  I didn’t see the pool table.
            I saw him.  The rug was on the floor.  He just turned it over and rolled it up.  Everyone was walking all around him.  One woman; a dealer, said “Wendell; I didn’t see that.  You have such a good eye.”
            Whatever that means.

            What this all means is that more and more “I think” Wasp threadbare rug wanting yard sale-tag sale-flea market hunting white SUV driving parking problems “I should have worn my boots it’s cold in here” “I”M LOOKING FOR ORIENTAL RUGS DO YOU HAVE ANY?” are ‘there’ ‘now’ ‘these days’.  Like... a LOT of ‘more and more’.  So my business is fine
            With all of this.
            I sell the rugs.  After I buy the rugs.  I don’t have to ‘very much’ for most of the rugs because most of the rugs are not only not worth very much but are a ‘lot of them around’ ‘for sale’ too.  What rugs are those?  Old rugs from after World War Two; 1950’s-60’s.  Old rugs from after World War One; 1920’s – ‘30’s.  Even the ‘Edwardian’ ‘era’ (1890-1915) (“Dee-Abby”) old rugs.  “All you have to do is look at the DYES”.  And, if the bother is needed, ‘the pattern’.  I don’t really much ‘needed’ these days.  There are a lot around for sale.  I just ‘cheap’ on those.  And even then I get a lot.  What happens to them?  They go to the flea market old rug vender.  His business is firecracker hot these days.  It; the Wasp Threadbare Fashion Forward ‘thing’; the right place at the right time with the right “old” “worn” “threadbare” “RUGS”.  A ‘constantly keep in supply’.  How did you think those rugs got there?  Santa Claus brings them?  No.
            I do.  And they sell just that way for just that kind of money.  We do not push the market.  It is ‘just there’... just like the old Wasp threadbare rugs are suppose to be.  Sniff test?  Better... but... one does not need to ‘touch’ many rugs.  No.  The ‘good eye’ will take a whole pile or two of old rugs and reduce it to ‘tag’ (see how much they want for it – “that one”) one rug.  It is always ‘too much’ too.  It has ‘already been found’.  I find rugs; old rugs.  So I know about this (already found).
            Then I sell them.  Even the “that one”
            I do not sell them to the rug shoppers shopping.  The rug vender at the flea markets do that.  I sell my ‘those rugs’ to him (her).

            The really old really worn threadbare rugs of natural dyes and bold geometric patterns from the Victorian 1880’s ...and older...  I have here and there in another universe in another galaxy; a galaxy of old threadbare rugs in an old threadbare rug universe.  No one ever talks about this.  It is all:  A glance at ‘a’ or ‘the’ or ‘those’ rugs is it.  On the floor one of ...those... is... not an accident... or a “What?”.  No.  They know.  YOU know.  It is assumed.  That (know).  For me it means, too, ‘great rug’ ‘not for sale’.  I know all about that for I live with it; my wife layers rugs without an ever mention ever.  I understand:  It as a Wasp ‘knows good rugs’ threadbare rug domestic  Reread that; I just told you something.  The house isn’t that big and the we keep finding the rugs and she keeps taking them off and layering them around and always says “NO ONE IS GOING TO PAY ANYTHING FOR” anyone of those rugs anyway (although that market is actually very... very sharp) so who cares and I also know better than to ‘mess with’ ‘a duck to water’ (an “I know” Wasp wife with rugs).  Yes the threadbare rug thing... in the realm of ‘good ones’ is a ‘don’t mess with’ style... standard.

            Is this a little scary?  Threadbare... “I care” has a “do I dare” a ‘THAT threadbare’?  Absolutely.  A threadbare Wasp home of ‘good ones’... takes a breath away.  “You’ve seen their rugs?”  How can you tell if you don’t know?  You can’t but the rugs that are that good will try as hard as they can to wrestle your eye and then knock some
            Good taste into that eye
            I’d like to say ‘you’ll know it’ but... that’s not true.  Most people ‘don’t’
            “Their rugs.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Severance (Pickers Picking)


(Pickers Picking)

            Mabel Severance took two chairs (a pair) back home with her from her mother’s house in 1974.  She kept the chairs thereafter.  After a few decades, her daughter became part of that too; the ‘kept the chairs thereafter’.  Last weekend I heard that she (the daughter) plans to ‘have a sale’.  What kind of sale, where, what’s in the sale, how, why and are the two chairs (a pair) that Mabel took back home so long ago part of the this sale.  Concerns me.
            Concerns is not the right word.  Pisses me off would be better words.  Not that I’m gonna wait around mixing my words over what Mabel’s daughter is gonna do at ANY SALE ANYWHERE EVER including IF there’s gonna be any damn pair of her grandmother’s great-grandmother’s chairs in that sale.  In that damn sale.  I say.

            I’m not even gonna go to her damn sale you’d like it to be said about me and about this; that pair of chairs.  But your not even gonna notice this; any of this.  WHY?  Because your too damn caught up in your paper toweling off of your life to even know that there are chairs at a sale.  That’s right.  You’s going around with spray bottle of window cleaner and a scrunched handful of paper towels wiping your damn dog’s nose marks off the bottom glass of kitchen side door.  Constantly.
            You’ve turned that into a damn ART FORM; wiping your dog’s NOSE.  I won’t talk about the warm plastic bags of dog poop everyone in the neighborhood sees you pickup and put in your pocket.  Everyday.  Them HAND WARMERS ain’t they when you’s poop-pick’en.  Anyway:  Your too right out straight occupied to be busied with Mabel Severance’s old pair of chairs.

            So I get that all sort of to myself.  Don’t I.  Assuming she’s stupid enough to sell the damn chairs at her damn sale they say she’s having.  And she IS that stupid.  And I don’t need to pick up dog poop to say that.  If I come over to your place and go in through that kitchen door I WILL point out that ‘you missed one’; a nose mark from your damn dog.  Out will come the spray bottle of window cleaner and paper towels.  Right while I stand there.  All I want is the damn information.  HOW do you know Mabel’s daughter is ‘having a sale’?  HUH?  What sale?  WHEN and WHAT’S IN IT.  You can just stay HOME after that.

            Betty Ann Thomas (“Bet”) is gonna be at that sale.  I can BET on that.  Old bitch.  She wouldn’t know about the pair of chairs.  But she’d know they’re GOOD chairs if she saw them.  She wouldn’t know HOW good they are.  If she saw them.  IF someone lined ‘em right up in front of her; she couldn’t tell HOW GOOD that specific PAIR of chairs is.  But that don’t stop her.  No.  She’d stay on ‘em.  Especially if she knows I’m on ‘em.
            She worked as a barmaid nights down in Portland after the (Vietnam) War.  That’s BEFORE anyone wanted to work down there as a barmaid.  She shoveled roof with her husband.  Used to.  I don’t know if she still does that work.  Too fat now.  She’s got a dog that sits on the sofa and watches TV with her.  And EATS with her.  Puts a blanket over the dog to make it “COZY” she says.  She wouldn’t know how damn good a chair was until her ASS sent her a TXT MESSAGE from sitting on it (the chair AND her ass).  She can be pretty nice sometimes; funny.  She don’t keep BOUNDARIES of what a person can talk about.  Maybe I should call her and say “Bet I got me some trouble”.  She’s gonna be there anyway if there is gonna be some sort of sale.

            Probably... I better find out if them damn chairs are gonna be in there; in the sale.  Some how.  I guess... go at it... with that stupid daughter.  Maybe... best.  If you know; YOU KNOW.  I know that.  I know you.  Just pull into the yard and ASK if she’s PARTING with them chairs.  That’s the word:  Parting.  Rhymes with FARTING so it can’t be TOO far off.  Right?  Course... she may not even KNOW them chairs.  Or forgot about ‘em.  She must have been TOLD.  You know... BACK ALONG.  I mean... I’ve been trying to buy them chairs since NIXON was president.  Of course these days that means that’s ALL gone to pot.  None of the idiots know CHAIRS.  But they know warm poop in a plastic bag don’t they.  And washing their car.  And not being able to parallel park their damn car.  They’d NEVER parallel park that pair of chairs.  You watch me:  I’ll do it.  Right in front of you.  I’ll parallel park those chair right into the back of my truck.

            Rolls up the cuffs of her blue jeans; that’s what the daughter does.  Best.  What she wearing blue jeans for anyway.  Work’en?  Jesus.  I parked and out she come.  They put a yard stick up against her ass recently?  “I got one in the truck” I said
            “What?” she said.
            “Yard stick.”
            “Might need it.”
            “Need it?”
            “To measure somethin”.
            “Harold Roberts used it last FALL to measure that pumpkin he grew.”
            “I’m not growing any PUMPKIN”.
            “What ever you say, De-ah”.

            Friggen bitch had a cold.  I said that:  You gotta COLD.  She did.  I don’t want it I said.  Come by to SEE about a SALE.  Nope, she said, not until SPRING.  What spring I say.  She don’t like me.  Okay.  What about your mother I ask her.  She’s back home for the winter she says.  Her house I say.  Yes and you be leaving her alone she tells me.  Do you think I’m gonna listen that that kind crap from some fat ass idiot with a cold?  So I went by... on my way by.

            Oh she talked to me about her damn ankles.  She got them tiny feet in tiny shoes.  Wearing these little SNEAKERS.  Anyway.  I fumbled us along.  Toward getting to a point.  Yeah I be your so smart you can figure out what POINT that was.  I look around everything too.  You know; get right up and walk around.  She come along.  Not like its the first time we done this:  “Come on CANDY:  Trick or Treat”.  You know what I mean.  So does she.  That old girl would rather talk to me anyway.  I know how to talk.  Told her about BET.  And the sale.  She likes Bet.  She don’t care about any sale.  YOU DON’T GOT YOUR CHAIRS in that SALE do you.  I say.  See:  Like I said.  Parallel Park ‘em; those chairs.  No she says she got them still.  Hid I say.  No there past the dresser in the bed room.  Go in and see ‘em if you like.  I did.  They’s just fine.  Hadn’t been touched.  Since I last seen ‘em.  You sell’en ‘em to Bet I say.  NO she say where’d you hear that.  I just thought so I say.  Oh she say.  Then she sits down there.  I’m standing.

            “I don’t” she says “Seem to want them along.  Anymore.” She says.
            “What about daughter?” I say.
            “That too.” she say.  I know what that means.  You don’t?  Back wiping the dog’s nose?  This is where what I do gets real interesting.  Stand right, like I’m standing here, you can see a whole world pass right in front of you.  Just like that.  Of course, you have to know them chairs is that good.  That’s where the world is ROUND in this.  If you don’t know them chairs.  Is that good.  At a glance.  Then the world is flat.

            “Cash or check”.
            “I can’t be bothered with a check”.
            I know that and I know why:  Daughter.  Business.
            That’s that.
            “Everything will be okay?” I say
            “She wouldn’t even notice”.
            I go out to the truck and dig around for enough cash.  These ain’t cheap chairs and they’re none of your damn business too.  I come back inside.
            “Severance.” she says.
            “Oh for that money someone’s always gonna be watching out for ‘em”.
            “I know that.  It’s still severance”
            “Better you do it yourself”.
            “I know that.  And I know you know that too.”