Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Coon Hill - Part Eleven - "Rigareee Treatment"


Coon Hill

Part Eleven

“Rigaree[1] Treatment”


            Asa, in the opening of this tale and standing at the bottom of my ladder at this opening, is spoken to by I; a ‘called out’, as a thief; a ‘he stealing antiques’... from the estate I was then ‘cleaning out’.  It is a familiar calling out on my part and Asa... responds in a familiar way to that calling out.  At the opening of this tale, this ‘Asa’; this man... knows that I know ‘this’; that he steals antiques.  He knows I know.  And:  He knows I ‘knew this before’... although we have never... ever... directly spoken of this together..., to each other or... about each other.  This is ‘even though’ we have long spoken to each other; ‘exchanged pleasantries’... within antiquarian commercial venues... for ‘over forty years and:
            Yes I can say at the ladder top that I have not ever spoken ‘about’ Asa as a thief of antiques with... well... ‘others’.
            THAT is because it was so well understood ‘in the trade’ that Asa ‘stole’ that... no one needed to ever discuss that.  Whatever... Asa... ‘had’ “was stolen” and so, therefore, all ‘regular’, ‘normal’, ‘serious’ and ‘professional’ “DEALERS” of antiques... ‘avoided’ ‘anything to do’ “with him (Asa)”.  This simple status ‘had been going on for (over forty) years’.  Asa did not know this?
            Who cares what he knows.  Thinks.  Feels:  “GET AWAY FROM ME!” was the dealer decorum and “WATCH HIM” was the ...second dealer decorum.  How does this work... for forty-five years ‘in the (local antiques) trade’?  THAT IS HOW IT WORKS:  “A thief” (of which there are many) IS ‘always around’.  They don’t go away.  No one ‘takes them away’.  In fact, speaking professionally, they ALWAYS are “THERE”; ‘show up’.  Inclusive of their ‘shiftless’ ...whatever and everything... of that perpetual ‘that moment’.  “WATCH HIM”.
            “He turned his back on me.  He got me.  He took the bowl of coins; picked it up, turned his back.  I don’t know what he got.”  That wasn’t said about Asa.  That was said about a... well how about... ‘regular’ flea market prowler ...thief.  This... reported declaration by a ‘robbed’ dealer... allows me to notice the need to discuss this; the common place of antiquarian stealing and... carry that to Asa... so I can carry him to the bottom of the ladder and then... his stealing from this estate to... his barn full of plunder and... well... what happened.


            That is ...a... point of this tale:  Asa.  He is NOT the point of this tale.  I have already made a number of points that are fully superior to ‘Asa’.  BUT I must treat Asa for his role in the ‘clean out’ in this estate is a ‘paramount’ of sorts AND:  It does allow me to ‘treat’ (Expose?  Explore?  Draft?  Dedicate?  Distill?) ...No:  I never could reach the rainbow’s end of the stealing of antiques; the ‘this’ ‘in-the-trade’ ‘of’ ‘stealing antiques’... as I must ...have to... ‘treat it’... daily... always.


            What I get from Asa; what I get from ‘having to deal with him here’... is an opportunity to profile this sort of creature murmuring in the shadow as a daily constant to antiquarian interest, study, art and... commerce.  Asa... and his ilk... is/are... always... ‘commerce’.  They come that way to ‘antiques’.  Money... to... that...; stuff... to... that is an... antique... so worth money... “I CAN GET” that; money... by commerce of antiques (“selling the stuff I steal”).
            Ok so... that’s ...like... way away from me.  I am... “It’s about the stuff”.  The whole thing; antiquarian interest and commerce... is about the stuff... and the ‘art’ applications to the stuff... in three dimensional space (‘sculpture’) OR a composition of line, shape and color on a FLAT PLANE.  Eye... see... art... is... “value” as ‘art I eye see’.  Asa ain’t there for any of that.  Shuffling... stammering... peeking... around he... in his pockets... of his deep pocketed jacket ALWAYS ready like BARF BAG in front of one on a JETLINER... to hold ‘plunder’ HE (Asa)...is... ‘never’ ‘art’.
            Ranging from a peddling ‘want to buy a watch’ street corner standup style on to ‘looks like stuff dumped out of a pillow case’ on to ‘in my car’ sales promotions to ‘parking lot’ meetings to ‘I ... from my grandmother’... source descriptions.  And other...: (...Providence...)... it is a cesspool sea.  But no ‘art’.
            So ‘ever more’ they of this commerce seek to ‘find out’.  Simply find out.  What it is.  They have.  Sounds familiar?  Yes... the modest homeowner showing off her dead mother’s house contents to me so... very much just want to ‘know that’; “FIND OUT”... too.  Showing ‘me’ ‘everything’ with that being... mostly... things I don’t want to see... so... “Please... stop... doing... that...:  Your making an ass of yourself.  “The painting... (you inherited for free from you dead aunt) is... ‘no good’ (“awful”).
            “What do you mean saying THAT?”
            “I mean that the THEIVES at the flea market do a better job of stealing bad art... and do a better job of SELLING IT ...too.”
            “You’re a bastard.”
            “It’s not about me.  It’s about the art.”


            So Asa and his fellows are just managing the ‘alternative assets’[1] they have... by stealing... ‘add to their portfolio’ and... are... commercially right on top of that once they.... ah... ‘can’... ‘ah’... “FIND OUT”... what IT is that they... stole...:  AND THEN SELL IT.”


            So I get to “SEE” a lot of “STUFF”?  What do you (the reader) think?  And... for the record... for the Asa group... “THEY” do not “LIKE” to “SELL TO YOU (me)”... not that I am ever interested in acquiring their... generally very bad ‘art’.  (The reason for that ‘no sell’ is because in their... fixations... they “CAN’T TRUST” what I say... “EITHER” and that, I guess... DOES show a tad of depth on their part?).  BUT questing for a “FIND OUT” I am “SHOWN”... usually without the foreplay of solicitation... a “SEE” if they can “FIND OUT” “anything” (their word choice).  That behavior makes Asa and his fellows ‘look like they do’.
            He is there early... at whatever antiquarian venue it is... of that moment... relevant; ‘SHOW’, “SALE”, auction (hall), yard sale, tag sale, flea market, ‘group shop’ (a consortium of antiques dealers) and (single owner) ‘antique shop’.  Asa (‘they’) appear... usually very, very near... ‘first’.  They are a ‘that good’ ‘at this’.  And they are ‘shiftless’ around with whatever commercial effort they are ‘of that moment’.  A painting?  A “STERLING SILVER”.  A... toy train.  A... ‘gun’.  An “OLD POSTAGE STAMP ALBUM YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT STAMPS?”
            “Where’d you get it?”
            “THE SAL (Salvation Army thrift store)”
            (“Yeah right”)
            “WHAT DID YOU SAY?  WANT TO LOOK AT IT?  YOU KNOW STAMPS I KNOW.”


            How are you (the reader) doing?  Want to do this for a living?  You know:  Stand on a ladder up against a tree and take down an old property sign while a thief stands at the BOTTOM of that ladder and talks to you.


So Asa is always slithering around everywhere for forty-five years and doing that... always... there.  And his ilk... there... too.  That means ‘right behind Asa:  “NEXTED!”.  “OH YOU FOUND A...” “PIECE” of “ART”.
            Rarely happens.  There is no three dimensional special consideration of an object ever.  And no ‘museum visit’.  There is, at best, a sort of step-in-something-soft identification of a ‘I FIND OUT’...sort of.  No design heritage.  Design history.  No positive and negative spaces...:  Just ‘How much?”.
            “Get away from me.”
            “No really:  How much is it worth?”
            “No money”.
            “No money?”
            “It’s a piece of shit”.
            “No.  I seen ‘em.  LeRoy has one for TWENTY.”
            “So sell it to him.”
            “He only give me TEN”.
            “So take it.”
            “He’s not here yet.  He said that YESTERDAY”
            “And you didn’t take it?”
            “WELL.”
            “So now you suck shit.”
            “HE GONNA COME AT NOON”.


            As anyone can see... Asa and his ilk... are... precious... jewels... scattered on the ground... before me.
            SO FOR FORTY-FIVE years Asa has been “ALWAYS” ‘coming around’ with a ‘something’ to, ah... show and tell.  MOST of the time... in fact a very, very most of the time, I am ‘not included’; that is... ‘not asked’ due to my... established and understood by Asa (and et al) ‘poor attitude’ to their current ‘quest’.  NOT TOO HARD TO FIGURE OUT IS IT.  And that means that when I am finally a ‘deal with him’ (Asa) I am ‘well backgrounded of him’ (Asa) ‘before I start’ (to clean out this estate).
            “THIS ESTATE” is... and this long known to me... RIGHT UP THE STREET from Asa who... lives in a rather run down 1840’s “OLD FARM” he, “SOMEHOW” inherited... .  It is well known that the “BARN” on that property is “FULL” of “THE STUFF” Asa “HAS”.
            Yeah:  That word:  “HAS”.  That’s a blurry word?
            Well... you want to know something funny about Asa?  Ok?
            Asa... ‘doesn’t sell’.  That’s right.  The ‘stuff’ he ‘steals’ he doesn’t sell.  For real.  Asa... is a hoarder.  For real.  He really is one.  He won’t (will not and never has) ‘sell’ ‘anything’ ‘ever’.
            I know this.  Everyone knows this; Asa steals and never sells.  “IT’S ALL IN HIS BARN”.  Asa, I know, has plenty of money.  A silver spoon in his mouth.  A never needed to work a day in his life.  That ‘s known too.  Sort of.  I mean... some know it.  I reported it earlier; ‘cut from the same cloth’ (Part Nine toward the end) (as the ‘Her’ of the estate I’m ‘cleaning out’ that Asa ‘stole from’ for decades).
            “So what’s that about?”
            “Oh don’t worry.  He (Asa) can be a real pain in the ass.”
            Why can that be true.  Because Asa isn’t just any ordinary antiquarian thief.  His circumstance... and his hoarding ‘set him apart’.  I ah... have to consider him, in the context of this particular estate... to be a... some sort of... ‘alternative asset (?)” OF this estate that I have to ‘manage’?






[2]:  That is what the financial community qualifies ‘antiques’ as; ‘alternative assets’ as in a ‘funds allocation’;  one has an ‘alternative assets portfolio with allocated funds and ‘investment’ ‘managements’ (note plural).


[1] :  “Ornamentation on (antique) glass of narrow applied bands forming ribs”.





1 comment:

  1. Holy shit !!! "alternative assets portfolio" ??? Doesn't anyone just by an antique/art item because they like it ??? To look at it, to touch it, to HAVE it ??? Never fucking mind what the worth is or what the return will be !!! The MANAGERS of such INVESTMENTS must be a treat to watch and listen to... burp/fart !!!

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