Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Worn Collars - Part Ten - "Dollar Store"

Worn Collars

Part Ten

"Dollar Store"

            Let... I... return to Arlington St. John; his (rare) book collection, his rare book room, his rare book room desk, his ‘sitted’ there.  I... sitted... too.  Let I... include I reminding that he; Arlington, is a rotten man and a rotten book collector.  I say.  Let me additionally include that Arlington has a “long time” “housekeeper” and that she, too, MAY be, too, IN Arlington’s rare book room... after... he is dead.
            That’s all I wanted to do with that right now; just return and remind; a ‘from where the tale began’ (Part One and Two) ‘touch base’.

            I now-then-there... jump back to continuing the ‘value’ summations of  ‘old books’ one “I HAVE THEM” may by... “looking them up” on one’s ‘smart phone’ to be so... one has determined “how valuable they are” and... then... ‘brings them around’ to “SELL”.  I peed in a sun baked port-ah-potty (Part Nine) to avoid having to ‘configure’ “you’s damn smelly old books”.  Remember?
            I also presented that my smart phone peek and boo at a... listing... of a copy of a single copy of an old book I have that may be a rare book by... what criteria?  And... I don’t use your peek and boo “PRICE FOR”  criteria.  I said that.  And I said I come around the long back passage of the scrubby bush of the old book’s smart phone listing to GLEAN... very, very, very.... VERY fast ...a whole lot of other iota about ‘this here (hear?) old book... starting... I started... with the “WHO IS SELLING IT?” (Part Nine).  Ok?

            And I said words like ‘collation’ and... ‘bibliographic references’ and ahhhh... I lost you?
            “COOL!” because I don’t want you to keep up with this anyway and... “MAKE IT” (understand) so that... you.... like... know (understand) what I’m talking about.  No... I don’t.  Further... I... ahhhh... do... most of this REALLY, really, REALLY fast without a smart phone and ‘by gut’ (informed guess) and that... since one now understands that a rare book is actually rare so that most books being not rare means... I don’t even ever get sort of to the “gut” (informed guess)
            No.  I just go pee in the hot box while you... ‘reload’... your ‘in the back seat’ box of old (smelly) books... you didn’t read.
            Or read ‘anything else’ ...either.

            So:  I said “book description”... I read.  A little part of that is a... collation (Part Nine).  OR NO COLLATION.  Given.  Skipping ‘what is a collation?’... for you do not need to know... I work with this precept; ‘a collation’.  NOW.... I.... NEED COLLATIONS.  If I do not have “A” collation that ...I... KNOW... is a “GOOD” (reliable-professional) collation I... have to do one myself.  ?.  “Yeah....”.  Ok soooo ah... having a ‘good one’ mean LESS WORK and further... ‘easy street’ for I for in addition to HAVING a collation I may now USE that collation to ‘check’ my ‘old rare book’ copy’s ‘collation’ “Against” that ‘good collation’... cutting down on even more... ‘work’.  See?  Or is Hansel and Gretel lost again?

            Quickly, a ‘good’ collation is the funny little algebra looking formula in the ‘a good description’ that ‘tells what’s in the book’; a page by page of EVERY page... and more... of what is
            In that book
            OR... even more dark areas (‘printing variants’, el al).  So... again reminding that we are working at this in micro seconds... I ‘apply’ the description’s collation to MY ‘copy’ and see... if I need to see... a more precise... ‘see’ about this collation thing for this MY copy of this one copy of one... old ...rare... book.  Carrying this collation thing away from this special needs setting... I go back to the mention of ‘reliable’ collation.  And the ‘books about books’ reading them ‘working’ thing (Part Eight) and... well... collations are big (amount of time spent with them) in the working cycle of the... rare book desk / rare book room...  this including the not being bothered while doing this collation thing... carrying to the “(will you please) SHUT UP AND GO AWAY” thing... this last usually suppressed by the ‘working’ bookman...:

            This is gonna sound a little funky right now but... what do I care what you think.  When I’m ‘like at it’ with a ‘collation’ and... well...:  One gets to know ‘books about books’ that have “GOOD COLATIONS” so... like... I go “MAYBE IT’S (a book’s collation) IN (for example) THE MIRROR OF MAINE.  That last is a book title.  But what ‘maybe it’s in’ means is that I know this book has “REALLY NICE” collations of the books... in this book... about books.  I mean this in the sense of someone saying “has a really nice ASS”; that kind of favorable say.  Like... even getting up from the desk to go get the ‘my copy’ of that book about... a very specialized area of old rare books... is... not only ‘exciting’ but “FUN!”

            So now I have to ‘carrying this collation thing away’ even a little more further to make the point I am trying to make about all this.  It is not about “VALUE” of your OLD BOOK.  No.  It is that I... exciting and fun... working at my rare book desk in my rare book room... am totally delightfully LOST in this.  And this is titled, for the convenience of the lay (outside the old book room door looking in for fifteen seconds) reader... ‘bibliomania’
            You’ve heard of this?  You are as sharp as a tack.
            To summarize:  I WANT to be doing this.  It is exciting and fun.  I presume you... and your smelly box of old books... do not want to do this and DO NOT EVEN
            KNOW ABOUT THIS.
            This is just one tiny little point of I ‘working’ at my rare book desk in my rare book room.
            It is all tiny little points in the hidden land... of the rare book man at his rare book desk in his rare book room.  Some of these tiny points are even ...actually... called... “points”.  ‘Points’ are as obscure as ‘collations’.  But I... being a bibliomania... maniac... find them to be too... ‘exciting’ and ‘fun’.  Too.

            Side swipe the other side?  SURE:  The MIRROR OF MAINE book... is about books... about Maine... only... sort of...; a few of them ‘someone’ ‘picked’... (choose; selected) ‘books’.  It’s one book about books that are Maine books among other books about Maine books that...:  Ok so there are books about books for all kind of books for example like a book about books for books about Kansas books... about.
            Yes ...a book about Kansas books... old, rare Kansas books:
            “Yeah I got that I read it.”
            “I’ve never been bitten by the Kansas bug.”  (Meaning to be absorbed with deep intrigue of old... rare... books... ‘about Kansas’).
            WELL I HAVE.  And I don’t care about you.  THE MAP COLLECTION (of maps of Kansas) AT YALE... was assembled to be an ON GOING definitive collection of old... rare... maps of KANSAS.  So I am... like.. always looking for that:  BOTH rare old Kansas books and rare old Kansas MAPS.  So leave me alone when I’m doing this.  Your still back on, like, “KANSAS?”
            The Kansas book about books book has collations.  Too.  As collations... they are not as beautiful as the collation in the MIRROR OF MAINE book.  I say that.  It is a small argumentative point... mostly aesthetic...:  The Kansas book doesn’t present their collations as attractively as the Maine MIRROR book.  I know...:  This is like you looking at your feet and trying to decide ‘which one is better’.  OR... looking at an ‘old book’ and... trying to “SEE” if it is “RARE”.
            Think about these ‘books about books’ on...:  So many subject... iota... you’s never get your arms around ‘them all’.  It is easier for YOU; the rare book idiot, to actually write a ‘book about books’ yourself than it is to ‘get your arms around this subject’.  I know of what I speak:  YOU ARE READING A ‘my I wrote’ book about books RIGHT NOW.

            You know what?  I have... a book about books about books about books of Washington Irving’s “graphic design and literary art’... including “IN” Rip Van Winkle.  You remember Rip... and that I like Rip (Part Three).  Right?
            Arlington, I... ‘it turned out’... discerned... liked Irving... too.  And Rip too.  NOT AS MUCH as I like Rip but, you know, good enough ‘he liked’ so we could ‘always talk’ along about ‘anything Rip’... instead of me being stuck between your old book box that smells and the plastic pee box...:  Ok so it was all ice and no whiskey in the old book room but AT LEAST WE WERE ‘sitted’ IN THERE and not POOL SIDE at ‘your place’.

            This is why I feel like Rip dragging his old gun around.  It is NUTS with these people with their ‘old books’ and ‘look up’ ‘smart phones’ “THEY’RE VALUABLE”.  And...  Don’t get this wrong:  Arlington St. John was a rotten man and a rotten book collector.  I say so... even though we would talk for forty-five minutes about one printed page’s apparent ...discrepancy... from a recorded collation ‘with no further mention’ that... “suggests” that an old book Arlington found is a “this copy pre-dates the ‘established’ ‘first printing”.  WITH the Saltines and the cheese too (Part Three).  I’m gonna have to keeping touching this base
To get you away
            From the dollar store.

1 comment:

  1. I, as a book idiot, do enjoy this venture into the realm of a bibliomaniac. It's good for my whatever...