Worn Collars - Part Seventeen - "Uneven Circumstance"

Worn Collars

Part Seventeen

"Uneven Circumstance"

            I find myself; a bibliognoste (Part Two footnote), before the reader as

            Uneven circumstance?

            Boorish babble about odd volumes and their forlorn concerns

            Left me peddling the circumstance of ‘hundreds’ of ‘boxes’ of ‘old books’ with the

            The probability of the unknown possibility that the boxed books hold on to

            The second (and ‘lost’) volume “SOMEWHERE” while I KEEP the first and found volume in the shoe box ‘with the others’ as a ‘best plan’ (Part Sixteen) and then suggest that I

            Should fret about

            Dieing ‘before’ I ‘go through’ all of the ‘hundreds’ of Benton Shelby’s old (rare)...purloined by I... book room’s ‘content’

            To see

            IF ...I... can be a “FIND THE SECOND VOLUME”.

            Helping to ‘uneven’ the circumstance is that the found volume is volume number two so the missing volume is volume number one so I am

            “Looking for the first volume of a two volume set that I have found the second volume of:

            This early American edition... legal or illegal... edition (?)... of  Sir Walter Scott’s

            ROB ROY.

            HERE NOW the uneven circumstance becomes very clear for delineation for

            One is still back there hoarding their “WHO WAS ROB ROY?” (Part Sixteen)?  That is... one has no book, no odd volume book, no two volume book set or... even inkling of early American ‘pirated editions’ and their ‘they collect those?’.  AND the legal editions too (“they collect those”.).

            Oh.

            SO.

            Okay

            I AM ROB ROY (Macgregor).

            May I ask... who are you?  Are you Francis Osbaldistone... who marries Diana Vernon?  OR are you Diana Vernon... who marries Francis?  It does not matter...

            Because you ‘do not know’.  But let me assure that those who biblioclose THEIR door on YOU... do know... Scottish... English... American... editions.  Pirated editions.  Permission Granted editions. “Copyright” editions... and... Vague editions.

            Francis marries Diana?  No... Diana marries Francis.  It all works out in the end:

            Volume one is found and reunited with volume two and

            I am Rob Roy Macgregor... the outlaw who

            Purloins old book rooms

            For money.

            There we are.  Or is it HERE WE ARE.  IT’S ABOUT MONEY.  It is so much easier... when its about money.

            The ROB ROY set is ‘worth money’?

            No.  If no one knows who Rob Roy is... so... why would they “pay money for that”?

            Meanwhile.

            (What is this ‘meanwhile’?  EVERYTHING is meanwhile... in old books

            And their uneven circumstance.  So let me... not be... too ‘meanwhile’).

            So... meanwhile...:

            Arlington St. John’s of HIMSELF shows a Rob Roy HIMSELF.  How did he get all of those boxes of books on floor of the right front room of his house (Part Sixteen)?  Why... that rotten man... peered into the ‘show him’ box of old books that the book sale committee head called him ‘look at’ and

            He did.  Look in that box.  And then he told her that if THIS box be a THIS box like the rest of the “HOW MANY BOXES DID YOU SAY?” “SHE DIDN’T KNOW” boxes then... Arlington said... “SHE PROBABLY CAN SELL ALL THE BOOKS for quite a SUM”.  “SUM”... (and/or “SOME”) is a word related to money that Arlington was always skillfully bantering.  “OH FINE YOU TELL HER THAT WOULD YOU PLEASE ARLINGTON”.

            After saying “Thank you” and changing his ‘sum’ to ‘some’ regarding the money of these books in boxes he ...scampered off... as only Arlington scampered... to the ...nasty domestic state... of the “We are getting rid of the books” (Part Sixteen) boxes of old books and

            Stated concisely that... inclusive of the “uneven circumstance” of the “household library” these “all of the boxes of books ” he “could find a (“Ahhhh”) home for” from a “BUYS BOXES OF USED BOOKS ALL THE TIME” and “PUTS THEM IN HIS BARN” for... “some” “small sum”...

            “IF YOU CAN BRING THEM OVER TO MY HOUSE I’LL CALL HIM RIGHT AWAY I WILL TELL HIM FOUR DOLLARS for EACH BOX for as MANY AS YOU CAN GET FOR ME.

            That turned up as thirty-two boxes but she brought four more boxes by four days later... too.

            So... obviously... I

            Was the guy

            Who buys.

            Arlington suggested the ‘sum’ of “four dollars a box” “AFTER I TAKE OUT ANYTHING I WANT.”

            I said “Ok”.

            I was Rob Roy.  NO ACTULLY Arlington claimed that he was the outlaw Rob Roy and ...as of Robin Hood TOO.  Merrily he groundhoged (Part Sixteen) the boxes.  That; his groundhoging the boxes of books... is about money.  For him.  For me.  He even groundhoged the four boxes that ‘came in’ four days later.  “YOU CAN HAVE THOSE.” He said.  “THERE’S NOTHING IN THEM”.

            So the uneven circumstance of the boxes of books and the uneven circumstance of what to do about them was cleared up by Arlington.  No one ever mentioned the boxes of books again.  Even I didn’t say anything to Arlington about them... ever again.

            It was six years before I ‘happened upon’ the missing volume one of the two volume Philadelphia 1821 edition of Scott’s ROB ROY.  Actually... I think it was seven years.  But... because I put the first odd volume back in the shoe box... I was able to put them back together... ‘in a few days’ ‘when I got to it’ ‘while I was out there’ (in the barn full of ...boxes of old books).  Please understand that this went so well because of that old shoe box that Benton Shelby had used.  That shoe box did not ‘fit right’ into my book-packing-boxes so... was ‘always kept out’ and was ‘floated on top’... of my book box fortress (Part Fifteen [A]) of Benton Shelby’s old book room books... in boxes.  “Floated up on top” so I could ‘see it’ and just had to ‘jig it’ with a stick to ‘get it’ (Benton’s old shoe box with his ‘set them aside’ Byron and Scott ‘early American editions’.  The box created an uneven circumstance... but that worked out okay in the end.

            I have always used the same size and shape; ‘identical’, boxes for ‘extracting’ (my title) old rare book room contents... from estates.  In fact I use that for ALL estate content books, printing, paper... et all.  They “fit better’.  I’ve used the same boxes over and over for years.  One box is emptied so goes ‘back on the (empty box) pile.  My book box fortress’ are never uneven... unless they have a ‘float’ up on top.

            I still have the Rob Roy set around.  No one has bought it.  Not that I’m pushing anyone to... buy it.  For money.  I told you already:  It is worth... “NO MONEY”.  And that’s what you want.  Right?

            From ‘old books’:  You... want... money.

            And you will get that.  Sort of.  Getting money... from old (rare) books... is an

            Uneven circumstance.

            I, myself, prefer to be a little snarl... lee... on the ‘practice’ of ...turning old (rare) books into money.  What is my ‘snarl-lee’?  It is ‘I don’t mess around’ with the “YOU” and the “YOUR RARE BOOKS”.  If... from my vista, you ‘don’t know’ then... you don’t know.  Rob Roy be damned... I’ll rob you

            Roy.

            Arlington, to his credit, understood this; the uneven circumstance of our intercourse.  And, as I mentioned (Part Sixteen) I will be returning to his ‘flee’ and ‘pretend’ too (Parts Two & Three).  But, by his old up-his-sleeve ‘sum’ and ‘some’ trick, I, through uneven circumstance, did get the ‘best’ of the boxes.  You think Arlington is going to take away the ‘good’ books?  HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS.  Box after box. 

            Adjusting, uneven circumstance IS where ‘good’ old ‘rare’ books... that are “WORTH MONEY” come from.  They do... not... come from pat sources.  A pat source, for example, are vendor’s table tops at flea markets; an ‘old book’ ‘sitting there’ ‘for sale’.  “No.” describes that tome’s... uneven circumstance.  IF... it were a “YES”... it would already be ‘gone’.  The hang-fire-time... in that setting... of a ‘yes’ is... “No; none”.  One must do better than that... and do that better very well... in uneven circumstance.  An example?

            When... after ingratiation... I visited Benton Shelby’s book room... over and over... for decades.  I soon noticed and denoted that “there is a door to the outside” in the room and that... was a, being ‘behind’ but not quite ‘the back’ of the house... would be and could be... from stepping out the door... a... traveling at a diagonal... to a “leaf pile” (composting organic yard waste gleanings) ‘at the edge’ of the... ah... ‘property’ ‘tree line’.  SO... Benton... I learned... “preferred” to go out the door to the ‘leaf pile’ to ...pee.   “Ho, ho, ho” and I, too, became an allowed ‘that’ too.  Like I said:  “Ho, ho, ho”.  So Benton raked around the yard and put his rakings there too.  And the neighbor’s dog’s dog shit too.  (Benton hated that dog).  So he peed there.  I peed there.  Ok?  This is about uneven circumstance... for getting ‘old rare books’ ‘worth money’.

            So Benton used a rake from the garage.  One of several.  This went on for... well... three decades.  The ...ah... ‘neighbors’ starting “GETTING” “LEAF BLOWERS”.  They no longer raked leaves.  Benton always raked... his... leaves.  And put them where we peed.

So Benton’s dead.  I got the contents of his book room.  His wife sold it all to me.  She said she “had other people look at it” but... ah... I don’t feel she did.  Anyway:  I got it.  I made the boxed books fortress in the barn.  I floated the shoe box up on top.  Done deal.

            Like... three years later she comes around to “CATCH YOU” and says she’s moving out, selling out, moving to a ‘smaller place’ “near my sister”.  “Yeah, OK.” I ‘bought her out’; the “STUFF” “LEFT” in her “HOUSE”.  She didn’t have any real antiques... but the house had fifty years of ‘single owner occupation’... with no uneven circumstance.  That kind of place has a lot of ‘quality’ ‘stuff’ like... rakes at the back of the garage that were ‘hardly ever used’ kind of “STUFF”.  Like...  The guy (Benton) had an old L.L. Bean hunting jacket (and boots; don’t forget the boots.  They all have the boots).  He wore it once a year ...for four days... over forty years... and his wife hung it up in a closed door closet on the first floor of their home... for the rest of the year...:  You get the idea?

            So I’m in the back of the garage ‘cleaning out’ the rakes.  So I’m handling the rakes and I “REMEMBER” Benton, his raking, his leaf pile, ‘out back over there behind’, the book room, us in there, the door, going out the door to the leaf pile, to pee, doing that for years and how THAT

            Uneven circumstance; I being allowed to pee on the leaf pile too... “GOT ME” the contents of Benton’s book room.

            THAT is the ‘uneven circumstance’ one needs to find... old rare books ‘worth money’.

            I set the rakes in the truck bed and then... went out back to Benton’s old leaf pile and

            Peed on it.