"Zipper" Harris
Part One
"Stumble Blocked"
“AVE
been TALK’EN bout AUCTION for THREE generations that I can remember. POTTERS place and they NEVER
SHUT-UP. That Ellen Potter didn’t
MARRY until LATE. KEPT her SILVER
SPOONS where the sun don’t shine I told her. LOT OF HER where the SUN don’t shine. If you
know what I mean.
“I’VE
been in there off an on now forty YEARS.
I figure. Them spoons is
still in there somewhere too nears as I KNOW. Lot of things in that dark in there. I figure I just keep showing up. MRS. Potter but now I’m ELLEN. Been that many years. Ellen won’t you
SELL ME TODAY. I been
in-shed. I been in the barn.
But
I ain’t been in the bed.
YET.”
“Zipper”
Harris is a local longtime antiques picker (finder of antiques). I’ve known him all my life. I started being an antiques dealer
before he become a picker. Before
that he was just “Zipper”. “Zip”
for short. That he come by quite
early; first grade we all remember.
In first grade when we’d go outside on recess Zip could never zip his
jacket up. The teacher... Mrs.
Dunlady... always had to do it.
You know: With him inside
the jacket. Never could zip it
himself. Next year; second grade,
still couldn’t do it. Went along
so in FIFTH GRADE he’s STILL having the teacher zip him up. So right along we started calling him
ZIPPER. Or Zip. And that’s stuck.
Then
he become an antiques man.
Picker. Zipper the picker.
He
parents run a motel out on Two.
Always run it. You
Know: Nice place nothing fancy
TOURIST place. Zip always worked
there. Now he’s most of the place
himself.
His
folks live in the HOUSE and that walks through the old barn out back to where
Zip’s built himself a bungalow:
Nice little cabin that’s a HOUSE.
Out back there. He goes in
through the old barn to the parent’s house. That barn he uses for his antiques. I’m always in there. Never been in Zip’s bungalow. I always go to the front door of the
parents house and they let me in to walk through into the barn. Except in summer when I pull around
back of the house to the side door of the barn. Zip opens that door in the summer and has his antiques sign
out by the road. He sells to the
ones who stop. They go in the side
door with their wallet and come back out with no more money and a pile of junk
Zip just sold ‘em. ‘WORKS OUT FINE
DON’T IT’ Zip always says to ‘em.
Everyone
is looking to buy the old fly fishing equipments so Zipper figures he’s gonna
be special on that. ‘Cept that...
well... it isn’t that easy to get anymore. BUY IT mostly and Zip don’t like having to do that so most
of it he misses out. Oh he got
plenty of the old crud; the old Sears and rob junk. Nothing FINE any more.
Zip: He get beat out on
that at the sales and auctions. So
he’s just got the old crud he puts outside the barn in the summer trade. I don’t say anything about this to
‘im. I know it’s a sore spot.
Most
of what he gets I don’t want and he tries powerfully hard to make me want it he
says. Most of the time we fall
back to just chat and looking over a prospect if some summer people stop going
through. Zip works them hard if he thinks they’ll show color (old gold digger’s
panning expression).
I
seen him sell “The POPE’S Hat” to a couple from LONG ISLAND. Some fraternal thing he called the
POPE’S HAT. They didn’t know
nothing. I think. Maybe they did. Anyway: They bought it.
That’s the kind of stuff he sells there mostly.
Zip
can go a pretty long time without having to find (“buy”) anything. He got plenty around he’s dragged
home. Always something around like
a canoe chair he wants too much for.
And stuff like that. Some
of it been there TWENTY YEARS I swear.
He don’t move on his price.
Funny thing is he actually remembers all their prices. He’s got one of them Langley’s Root and
Herb Bitters bottles; just the aqua common one. NO PONTIL. He
want twenty-five. It’s only worth
TEN. But he’s had that in there
twenty-five years. For twenty-five
dollars. Every summer they ask it
(the price) over and over. “STILL
GOT IT” some of ‘em say. The
reason he does that is he likes it; that Langley’s. HEAVEN FORBID he finds a GOOD (old) BOTTLE.
One
time he had a Warner’s (Safe Cure) box with three bottle still in it FULL. Kept
‘em out in the barn they never froze I wonder why. RIGHT? Anyway. He sold ‘em. The BOX with the bottles still in it. Summer guy went back and forth for an
HOUR and then give Zip the hundred fifty.
After he left Zip celebrated.
Went through the house out to the soda machine and took off a
Moxie. Locked it (the soda machine
for the motel) back up and walked around the side of the house to the barn’s
antiques door. He sat down and opened it. He SAT in that chair; that old
PRIVATE SCHOOL arm chair, sipping it for TWO HOURS. JESUS you think he’d OFFER me one. I said so. He
just laughed. I’ve never sat in that chair of his either.
You
ever been in a house with him?
Jesus. He stands his ground
with a DOLLAR. And that WORKS TOO. Tight. Jesus. You get
all the way in there way to a back shed or something and he gets a dollar out
on some old buckets or such. Then
he says the dollar for all the buckets.
Then the old fella says okay real slow the way they do. Then Zip; he’ll
say “WELL I don’t know IF I SHOULD for THAT dollar. Just like that he say that. Then that old fella... why he’s STUMBLE BLOCKED. So then Zip says “I’ll tell you what
put in them two (old wooden) BOXES and I’ll CALL IT a TRADE. Course the old fella DOES.
That’s
how he gets all the crud he’s got.
It’s a slow and steady process.
I asked him about a pair of chairs he’s got in there (the antiques shop
barn). I asked in nineteen
seventy-seven I swear. He says he
can’t sell ‘em. “FOLKS” he says “HAVE
TWO MORE MATCHING”. Won’t sell ‘em
he says. Don’t even know what they
are ‘cept that they’s IN THE HOUSE.
His he got in the barn. He
says he’s just waiting. Been forty
years. Damn fool.
He
found a Civil War belt buckle in there.
(Ellen Porter’s house?
Never been clear to me). He
put it out in the barn. SIX YEARS
they (Civil War collectors) all come by and told him it was a “fake”. Six years of that. One day one of ‘em brings a summer
sport along and they talked that buckle over for an hour. Then Zip tells him fifty bucks and that
it’s a fake. That fella look back
and forth then paid out the fifty.
Zip folded the money into his pocket. “That buckle ain’t FAKE.” the fella said. Jesus if you think Zip forgot
THAT. Only ‘better one’ I ever
seen get him.
Zippy’s
a funny man get’en to be a funny old man now. Seems to be. He
don’t know any art. He knows an
old thing; that something is old.
But he don’t know its ART.
I told him once. Now
probably thirty years ago. I come
on to an early tall clock up in the attic of the Schooner Winthrop House. The case was lying down under the
eves. The bonnet was off and
pushed in-under too. The movement
was in a box. Must have been put
up there after the Civil War. All
the Winthrop boys were killed in that war. Union boys.
Whole family went to Hell after that. No one had been in that attic for a whole century. So Zip’s up there with me. He sees the old clock and starts his
engine. “Shut-up” I tell him.
So
the cleanout goes along a couple of days and I take that clock out early the
third morning. I take it right out
to the truck and take it right home.
It said “Dover” on the dial.
That’s Dover New Hampshire not Dover England. Zip is going along with me on all of this. So he starts his mouth engine up once
we’re on the road to my place.
“Campbell’s”
he tells me “got a clock just like this right inside their (antiques) store
door. Come face to face with it
every time I go in. Want seven
hundred dollars for it.” That was
it right there for Zip. My tall
clock was just the same as Campbell’s and worth seven hundred dollars.
I
poked that a little as we drove. Did he see the movement? You mean the works in the box? Yes. No he figured they were all there fine. Did he see me take off and save the
finials on the bonnet. He seen me
take off the ‘decorations’. Did he
see me make him take the top end of the case so I wouldn’t have to worry about
him chipping the feet on the base.
No he didn’t notice that except that I took “the heavy end”.
I
told him it’s a tall clock, not a grandfather’s clock and the ‘works’ is called
a ‘movement’ and is regarded as sculpture; three dimensional art. He wanted to know if ‘it will work’ (go
tick-tock): “CAMPBELL’S DOES. HAD A CLOCK MAN FIX IT”. I give up. I said the case and bonnet are sculpture too. “BIG LONG BOX AIN’T IT” he says. I give up. Thirty
years ago right then. Never ever
made another try at Zip about art.
Just no point. I hid that
clock in my barn for a decade.
Money in the bank you know.
Zip forgot about it after he told me along that Campbell “SOLD HIS
GRANDFATHER”.
Campbell’s
old tall clock was import: Welsh.
Used to import boat loads of ‘em.
They are all the same; cheap junk that people think-look-rich... so that
they appear think-look-rich but didn’t have to spend much ($300-$400). These days those folk have found out
the truth and now they won’t even buy ‘em. I’ve never owned one.
Ellen
Potter has a tall clock too and you bet Zip been ogling that for thirty years. It a “Hoadley”; a cheap
Connecticut wooden movement that peddlers sold from their wagons. The family would go in town and have the
case locally made. Many times a coffin maker would make a case. Usually they
are plain with a dark brown stain finish.
Some cases are paint decorated fancy and I pay attention to those. I did glimpse the Potter tall clock
when I went to that Ephraim Howe Honor home tour... twenty years ago. A glimpse is all I needed. They had to screw those clocks to the
wall to make ‘em level so they would work (go tick-tock). That’s a warning sign right there as to
their quality. Zip, of course,
thinks it’s worth seven hundred dollars.
You can see how it is easier just to give up and shut up when it comes
to explaining art to Zip.
“ANTIQUES” as he calls them is another matter.