Thursday, August 30, 2012

Maggie's Store - Part Four

Maggie's Store
Part Four

            Well:  Does that mean I was growing up on the porch of Maggie’s Store?  Seems to me quite a bit came my way there... that didn’t seem to... come any other way... so... why don’t we ALL have a “pop” on THAT!
            MEANWHILE, back inside, commerce was in full swing and this was because if one was to run such a store as Maggie’s way out in the middle of No Where, Maine one was in a position to have a very broad selection of “merchandise”.  AND I don’t mean the “DEER HIDES BOUGHT” sign or “FISHING LICENSES SOLD” sign or... the “CRAWLERS”, “FRESH CORN”, “MAPS”, “CIDER”, “MAPLE SYRUP”, “FIREWOOD”, “FLY DOPE” and “ESKIMO RUBBERS” signs.  These last were actually printed wooden boards that made up a wall by the door of the little room “out” “back”.  NOPE:  MY grandmother weren’t there for no... FLY DOPE.
            “Anything Maggie?” was an opening to the “YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE IF YOU WANT” period of the visit and that old fat proprietary HOG; deer hide buying, in-grown blackhead faced, candy bar gobbling WOMAN sold the ANTIQUES too.  HOLY “DON’T SPILL YOUR SODA!” and “THEY” were going into HER HOUSE and into HER BARN and, “CANDY CORN!”, that sun was going to SET before “WE” “got out of there”.
            Is it “we got out of there” or is it “WHAT we got out of there”?  “That’s hand made” and “That’s old” and... “IS THAT a REAL powder horn?”.  HOLY BLOODY GROUND and I CUDDLED THAT ALL THE WAY HOME.  You’d ah TOO if you were five and... DANIEL BOONE.  I didn’t even know WHICH SHOULDER to hang it on and “IF I ONLY had a MUSKET”.  COONSKIN CAP did I begged my grandmother to “get me one of those I know you can”.  An “Old Critter” “musket” was TWICE as tall as I was.  “YEAH, yeah, yeah and YOU don’t know ANYTHING anyways unless YOU’S been to Maggie’s Store” summarized my age five philosophic view of …ALL.
            THEN I didn’t know what was happening to me but NOW I know that I was what is called “be’en inFECTed” by the “antique bug”.  That’s what ...they... called it THEN.  And THEY was already SOME infected because before we left Maggie’s we always had what is known as “a” “load”.  And you know what:  MY GRANDMOTHER would actually KEEP some of the things she “bought” from Maggie’s Store.  And I know what that means NOW but back then, except for OBVIOUS THINGS like that powder horn, that was WEIRD for “her to do”.  Course it all wouldn’t “fit” in the “car” so “her man” would “come down” and “fetch it”.  And of course that BACK SEAT had to “be able to get THAT in” chairS “with me” and the “bag” of “DON’T BREAK IT!” “china”.  “Old china[1]” that is... OLD CHINA to go with the OLD glass and all “not packed too good” so “careful” “on the bridge”.
            “The GREEN kerosene lamp YES that one.” and “I don’t know Maggie as that’s more than the LAST one.”
            “No:  The blue one YES that and how much again?”.  It was endless!  THEN I had to have the stuff in my FACE all the way home.  But that was OK because I was too busy thinking I was gonna barf from all the unsupervised candy I ate.
            And I pissed in the old outhouse out back before we left.  No one ever used that except me I’m sure because it, well, was OBVIOUS no one was gonna “butt down” in there because these creepy weeds were growing up out of the hole and they were this starved yellow-green color proving that they come out of the hole just to try and get OUT of the OUTHOUSE.  But it didn’t smell except sort-ta like old composted hay.  And everything smelled like that.  And no one ELSE ever used the outhouse except that... once or twice... I DID see a little tuff of NOSE tissue tossed into that one hole with NO weeds and, well, THAT meant that some woman “from away” had “been allowed” to “use it”.

[1]:  These two witches did not use the word “paste” for this “old china”.  It would be near another ten years before I’d pick (hunt antiques) with someone who called it “paste” or “old paste” or... “THE old paste” but, I’ll get to that in another story.

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