Worn Collars
Part Two
"Oh God"
My...
contact... with Arlington St. John was through... and founded upon... “Rare
Books” (his title) and his... persistent ‘piss me off’ hanger-on skill in and
about a local tribe of ‘old book buffs’ (my title) who, as males, kept women at
bay by... persistent ‘piss me off’... pandering that ‘old title pages’ be ‘of
secret’ that... women “do not understand”
This last quote is from a local rare book buff’s definition of the
boundary... of ‘Rare Books’. That
definition policy left me with them in ...their... little rooms with their...
‘preferably’... ‘floor to ceiling’ ‘old books’ “shelved”. I ‘sitted’ opposite them (each) at the
...classical... ‘old rare book buff’s ... bibliomaniac’s... “DESK”. Even a rotten book collector of a
rotten man such as Arlington St. John had, too, ‘a... rare bookman’s... desk’. And the requisite ‘chair’ for a ‘visitor’ such as I to
‘sitted’ “in”
“Oh
God.” Does not well denote my feelings but was (and is) used by I constantly to
express my ...circumstance ... ‘of this’ (“sitted”). Do not feel that ANY... ONE... may be ‘of sitted’ “IN” the
... ‘of’.... book collector’s... little rooms. That room’s door is kept closed to the ‘thee’. AT a ‘best’ one may... possibly...
perhaps... have the door opened and a ‘be allowed’ to ‘look in’ that room
for... fifteen to twenty seconds... before that door is ...shut... by the ...
‘old book buff’ whose hoard thee just ...beheld. That, to explain the ratio of this showing... is the direct
one to one same as being shown a little used ‘guest’ ‘bathroom’: “Remember it is there; that you ‘saw
it’ but... please ... do not use it.”
I
am a horrible and rotten man to these reprobate rare books buffs for my
punctual poke of the cadavers of their ‘(old) rare book collections’? Of course I am. I speak at them as to the rotten state
of their collections, their rotten state of being a remedial ‘(old) rare book
buff, their rotten ‘(old) rare book room and... that they, themselves, TOO...
are... rotten. But I am a ‘dealer’
of ‘rare books’. These
delineations from ‘such as I’ are considered ‘normal’, a mark of their (the old
rare book buff’s) success as... “rare book men” and... therefore... a
compliment... from me... to them... too.
“Oh
‘God.” Does not well denote my feelings about THIS... too.
Urinating
in their guest bathroom is my ‘fickle’ for their ‘knowing ones’*?
Even
their ‘booze’; a rare bookman’s subplot, is cheap. And rationed.
After being measured. After
the old bottle cautiously being twisted open... and its portal sniffed. The glasses, too, are tawdry; 1960’s
Goldfinger era... and style... with black and gold “PARIS” and “LONDON”
decoration. And they are...
dirty. Ice comes from a long
expedition to the kitchen and back.
It is not carried in an ice bucket but comes to the rare book room in an
old... soup bowl.
Arlington
St. John’s ‘rare book room’ was absurdly neat in comparison with the ‘others’ I
‘visit’. Behind him was an ‘old’
‘china cabinet’ full of ‘rare books’... very neatly shelved. On either side of his seat and desk...
and my seat... were, too, old china cabinets against the side walls. These too were full of ‘rare
books’. Everything, including
these books, their shelving and... the desk top... were ‘as neat as a pin’
including ‘dusting’. This state of
physical rare book status... alone... assures the ‘knowing ones’ that...
“therefore his (Arlington’s) rare books are rotten”. It is that easy for a bibliolater**...
to denote. And I here denote that
the ‘thee’ would... “THINK” this room and its collection “IS NICE”. This shows bibliognostes*** “what an idiot” you are... too.
Do
I have to define what one is supposed to find as an ‘old book buff’s’ ‘rare
book room’? Perhaps I best wait a
verse or two before... tackling that?
A ‘verse or two’; yes... that is cute isn’t it.
Arlington
would put the ice in the dirty glasses by taking it from the (dirty) old soup
bowl with his fingers... one ice cube at a time... very slowly... so that his
hot little fingers... with his old and virgin fingernails... would ‘melt’ the
ice and droplets of this melt would... ‘fall’... on the desk as he overloaded
each glass with ‘ice’. He’d then
pour a ‘smidgen’ of...:
A
‘smidgen’ is less than a ‘finger’.
“Oh GOD.” Does not well denote my feelings about THIS... . And I NEVER ‘just knock that one back’. Oh no... we... ‘sipped’. Meaning... the... crummy old whiskey...
in it’s bottle from the ... BARRY GOLDWATER Presidential ‘RUN’... simply...
slightly... ‘touched’ our lips... DURING THE WHOLE AFTERNOON.
Unless
I ‘got out of there’ QUICK.
** : A worshipper of (old and rare) books
*** : Those
‘knowing’ of title pages, editions, imprints, printers, bindings, ‘states’,
‘points’ and the ‘et al’ of ‘old’... ‘rare’... ‘books’.
The
getting out quick is a commercial perspective that to the “I” a rare book
dealer... is... a honed and endeavored ‘skill’. Simply... I am not a “THERE” on vacation and USUALLLY am
nursing the over iced smidgen in a concise effort to ‘sell’ ‘something’.
“Puke
in a bucket?” You say? And we are
not far off of that are we. I
being disturbed, this saga began by a chanced crossing in the outer rare book
fringe of ‘out there’ where by foul luck I hand held a ‘good’ “FIND” of some
sort of a “LET ME SEE THAT” of a purloined ‘rare book’ that I am at that moment
very satisfied with as a ‘money maker’ but... being in the purloin haze of rare
bookman’s ship... I held it in the open too long and a:
“Oh
‘God.” Does not well denote my feelings about THIS... too... spied it and the
follow up is that I committed to...:
“Bringing
it by”.
I
gave him (Arlington) the damn number (price) ($1250.00) but he still came on
including the asinine “I THINK I may HAVE one of those (a copy of this ...rare
book... [pamphlet]).”. He does not
have a copy of “IT”. NO ONE HAS A COPY
OF IT. That is what a rare book
is. THAT IS WHAT I DO: FIND
THOSE. If he claims to ‘have one’
and rises from his ‘sitted’ to search the china cabinets full of his ROTTEN
rare books... I am going to ...beat him to death with the toilet plunger next
to the toilet in the guest bathroom.
Arlington rises from his ‘sitted’.
“I
don’t have that.” he says.
“Of
course not. No one does.”
“I
feel that it is too much money.”
“I
feel that it is too little money.”
“You
quoted me twelve fifty.”
“I
want sixteen fifty.”
“You
quoted me.”
“And
you are not buying it.”
“I
haven’t said no. Sir. Yet”.
“It
is painful to your collection to say ‘no’.”
“I
need a minute more.”
TWO
AND A HALF GOD DAMN HOURS LATER... I and the old pamphlet... ‘get back in the
car’ and ‘drive away’.
Nobody
knows I ‘have that’ (have found and offer this rare book) except that... rotten
man. BLABBER MOUTH around the
trade you say? NO. He doesn’t even ‘know what it is’ so
cannot ‘utter’. He can
mumble. But he is always mumbling
around the local (old) rare book buffs.
They never listen. They
don’t even notice he is mumbling.
This is because he is a rotten book collector and has a rotten... old...
rare... book... ‘collection’.
His
collection... now... ‘lacks’ ‘this’ (the old pamphlet he... did... not...
buy). Too. Arlington has a large collection of
‘rare books’ he did... not... buy.
I
learned... from these ...it is not an ‘experience’...: I learned that... when the rich flee...
no one notices. This has nothing
to do with rare books? On the
contrary, the rare books... of a ‘the rich’... are the ones that ‘tell’ this
tale of ‘flee’. Old books
tattle... tale. Do not ‘think’
Arlington could conceal his flight from me. I saw right away... his neatly dusted shelved collection of
his
Flee. It was very easy to see.
He
had not; he did not buy the books that were in his china cabinets. Someone else did... a long time ago...
after lunch... on Madison Avenue... in New York City. One by one for maybe as long a fifty years but certainly for
forty years... each old book was bought; a ‘rare book’ after lunch... to ‘be
shelved’ and never, ever, touched again.
Never taken out of the cabinet.
Never... thumbed through.
The purchaser didn’t even bother to erased the dealer’s penciled price
at the front upper corner of the ...front free end paper... or, off times, on
the top front ‘fly’ (leaf). I
would always look to see that this pencil price was of the same hand as the
last pencil price I ‘looked at’... whenever I ‘looked at’ the
“Oh
God.” Does not well denote my feelings.
Of
the tedium of the last book I was ‘looked at’ while I was ‘sitted’ in the’
“Oh
God.” Does not well denote my feelings.
“KNOCK
THAT BACK and I am OUT OF HERE”.
Never
worked. I was left with a glass of
melting ICE for ‘another hour’
“Or
so”: “HAVE I EVER SHOWN YOU
(My
collection of worn SHIRT collars?”)
He’d
say.
Mr. St. John did not buy his books. He and many others of the type fit the saying "he/she was born on third base and thinks he/she hit a triple". Note: To be PC I should alternate between using he/she and she/he, but then which one goes first ???
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