January Pot Roast Fidget

January Pot Roast Fidget

            “NOW JUST a damn WHAT:  Your talking about my DINNER.”

            Of course it don’t

            Matter

            To THEM.

            They’s FIXATED... ON IT.

            Seems... it started as a kitchen murmur; “Recipe”.  Murmur.  Yep:  From that New York Times.  They have this POT ROAST recipe that’s been THE recipe

            “ON THERE SIGHT”

            For a year.  Or whatever.  And it got itself into kitchen murmur in my house.

            In Maine.

            “THE HELL WITH THAT” I say:  This New York Times Mississippi Roast

            Cooked in Ranch salad dressing and Peperoncini.

            You read right.

            So that (the dressing et al) comes from the old suburban USA defense cookery crock pot roast of ...dumping a package of dried onion soup mix “ON TO” a pot roast in a crock pot to ...ah...

            “NOT IN MY HOUSE” and “GO BACK TO WHERE YOU COME FROM:

            LEAVE the state of Maine”.

            That didn’t stop this kitchen murmur this time;  they make it:  The Mississippi Roast.

            So we get a five pound chuck roast and had no problem keeping standards up doing that for the meat man “KNOW” “THAT” part.  And we got the jar of Peperoncini.  And we didn’t get a bottle of ranch dressing; we never even went DOWN the salad dressing isle.  We usually don’t go down that isle anyway.  So no one MISSED anything. 

            We put the roast in the (crock) pot.  Tossed a ‘quite a few’ of them Peperoncini on top and the... ah... SPOT... the top... of the roast set in the crock pot with the ranch dressing ‘mixture’ as directed.  It IS a “spot” on the top of the roast... YOU KNOW how much “one teaspoon of butter milk” is?  It is a.... “SPOT”.

            Anyway... this is at four-forty-five in the morning.  And (this assemblage) goes fast.  Then that roast, with the peppers and the spot, “COOKS” for twelve hours.

            Then it’s double spoon lifted out of the crock pot.  And placed on a platter.  And ‘seen if’ “IT” “PULLS APART”.  That’s the real good job to get with this ‘making this’.  Especially when no one happens to be looking.  SOMEONE’S got ta TEST IT (the meat).  Right?  AND:  Decant (de-grease) the ‘juice’ into a side bowl to ‘ladle’.  Them whole peppers (in the juice)  is cooked now and I can’t says as I’ve ever had (eaten) one of ‘em COOKED before so I eat a few of them and they are just about what you’d “THINK” being sort of ...hot mushed out.... bleached out.  But I liked ‘em okay.  And ate ‘em all over the course of the roast’s consumption (two full meals and two middling fair lunches) with noodles and (frozen) peas.  The Mississippi Roast was good but I was careful to not ‘gush’ and be sure to simply... “snake” the ‘it pulls apart’ roast... along steady... as a Maine man know how to do... around the Maine farm kitchen.

            RIGHT?

            IT (the Mississippi Roast) ain’t BAD.  Ain’t SPECIAL GOOD.  OR special WHAT EVER.  The chuck... and the juices it lets go... dominates.  I could ‘taste’ them peppers.  I don’t know what happened to the ‘spot’ of ranch dressing.  Didn’t seem to me that spot part would hold up under the cooking anyway and...

            SO...

            I was, I suppose, VERY PLEASED that this ranch dressing spot

            DID NOT

            RUIN

            The roast...

            Which is all gone now.