(Yankee) Hoarding - Part Two - "Good Ones"

(Yankee) Hoarding

Part Two

"Good Ones"

            The alteration

            Of the altercation

            Has been brought forth.

            Behavior suggesting stigmatized hoarding or hoarder is chased to the far edges of disease for if a dresser top dish (Part One) may hold a fifty year ...hoard... of keepsake-I-found... and that is not only a trinket bowl of someone’s humanity but be too, a dish of clutter, beautiful-of-self... WE

            Together

            May move within this; the hoard, to discern the humanities AND

            Our own humanity

            TOO.

           

            Stigma falls away from hoard, excepting, of course, the sensationalized fringe.  Very few hoarders actually are buried-to-death in their filth beneath the collapse of ceiling high filled rooms full of “old magazines”.  No.  Hoarding is better then that... especially in the hands of a Yankee.

            Now... you’ve been quick to claim you have no dresser top dish of hoard so, therefore, you are ‘be hoard free’?  No, no, no...; that was just a demonstration of sighting a hoard of a hoarder.  For the record, most all ‘of hoard’ (“O-H”) have (many) more than one hoard.  The dresser dish is a petty specimen shown for titillation.  A step ‘around the place’ (a hoard site) will show more hoard right away.  You are ‘too’ with this:  (Yankee) hoard has big wrap around reaching tentacles.  Struggling to get free is the most common expression of acknowledgement that there is a hoard and that hoard... is.

            Example?  IN old New England the most common hoard-of-that-hoard I am invited to ...roll in... professionally (antiques and rare books) is, “OF COURSE STUPID” ... “old books”.  Prefixed by “MY” .... “OLD BOOKS”.  “I HAVE SO MANY BOOKS”.  You have heard (uttered?) that... ?  It is pretty much... number one ‘hoard’ discerned by the... hoard he/her.  Yes... simply .... “BOOKS”.  No further elaboration NEEDED. 

            Similar and fair... is the male Yankee ... ‘has saved every piece of “WOOD” he ever had' a... hoarder’s chance to save (hoard).  It (this pieces of wood hoard) IS ALWAYS THERE... and protected (“I might need it”).  I never get into it but do state that each man-of-his-wood-hoard... CAN... tell you EXACTLY ‘where that (each iota) came from’.  If that power-of-hoard doesn’t scare the shit out of you... you too must ...be one (Person-of-Hoard [“POH”).

            Girls?  Just one sucker punch:  Shoe ‘collections’.  No... they ARE hoard ...and you do know this... EVEN IF YOU’VE trimmed back to (“YEAH RIGHT”) “FIVE PAIRS” “I WEAR”.

            This isn’t hard is it.  It makes the poke of the dresser keepsake dish of trouser pocket trinkets look like an archeological DIG.  And again...this is “YANKEE” we are quantizing (quantum physics) (hoard is quantum physics?)  (NOW your getting on this). (Hoard is quantum systems and quantum mechanics producing quantum entanglement)  (‘in the universe’) (like pairs of shoes in a dark, cool... closet.)...:  So this is “YANKEE”.  TOO.

            Yankee Hoard is books and wood.  Shoes is Yankee?  Is your shoe hoard “Yankee”?

            Depends on the SHOES, idiot.  Are the SHOES Yankee?  Okay...?  This is not that hard once the barriers are exposed.  The hard part is changing your barriers-of-self.  The short road to salvation is ... “I am a hoard.  I have hoard.”  This becomes Yankee when “I am good at hoard” is added.  Yankee hoard; hoards and hoarders... ARE GOOD

            AT IT.

            Very few... very, very, very few Yankee hoards and their hoarder management teams are “buried” under a collapsed mega tons of unopened bags of rotting kitty cat box litter and ‘dried food’.  No... The Yankee hoard is WAY more advanced than that.  The Yankee hoard is so good that most of the time ‘no one notices’... and if ‘they do’... ‘they like it’ (the Yankee hoard)

            What’s a Yankee hoard?  I have been told that even the stones piled up in a stone wall are a ‘Yankee hoard’.  And those (stone wall hoard) are... “BEAUTIFUL”.  Your hoard of half used up spray top plastic bottle cleaners and wipes under the ‘kitchen sink’ is NOT beautiful and is NOT Yankee.  It is a suburban housewife’s hoard.  It is not ‘so Maine’.

            Oh you just thought all of this is clutter?  It (stone wall and plastic spray bottles) is not.  It is (are) hoard.  It is how ‘good a job’ you are at this... YANKEE too...  Yes:

            “How good are you at this (hoard, hoarding, hoarder).  “Church on Sundays” you say?  Okay.  Let us peek in the potting shed.  A hoard of old flower pots you ‘saved’.  OH SO... Yankee.  Except, of course, if they be PLASTIC flower pots.  THEN... ‘not Yankee’.  At all.  In fact ‘gross’.  No one (Yankee) is potted plant in plastic.  That is a simple Yankee rule of hoard; clay pots... plastic pots.  It’s like the old dirty sneakers (Crocs); they go.  Old dirty sneakers and Crocs are not Yankee.  Do not hoard them.

            Yankees hoard tools.

            Guns.

            Worthless, rusted metal...

            And what that rusted metal once was.

            And...

            ......

            God.

            Yes.  That is a “very key” (skeleton key) to Yankee hoard.

            The Yankee hoards his God

            In his soul

            Right in front of you

            Very often

            He flaunts this

            An example of that?  The dresser top dish... with its fifty years of trouser pocket clutter assembled

            By that man now dead.

            Right in front of you he did that hoard; flaunted it... for fifty years.  Now you finally notice it.  He flaunted his god in a dish for everyone to see.  He was so good at his hoards he had to be dead (“with his God”) before you found them out.

            Does this explain why this same hoarder hoarded a hoard of plastic bread bags (the plastic bread bags loaves of bread ‘come in’ ‘from the store’)?  No.  That hoard, when opened, is more practical than the dresser dish.  “Oh now what!” you say.

            Well the man saved the bread bags to use as trash bags; little old bread bags of his trash that he filled and threw out... being ...then... WHAT?  Well...being a Yankee hoarder he... never purchased a ‘trash bag’ AND... did not have much to throw out too (generated very little ‘trash’) so... to fill a bread bag took ‘nearly all week’ and... slowly, over time, his hoard of bags exceeded the usage or them and ... he never threw a plastic bread bag out either so... there came to be a

            Hoard of plastic-bread-bags-to-be-used-as-trash-bags... that... I found... “after he died”.

            I knew what it was.  Others did not.  They said “WHY DID HE (the crazy old goat) SAVE THE PLASTIC BREAD BAGS?  WHAT A HOARDER HE WAS”.  The guy had a better understanding of waste management in old New England and created a system to manage his old New England waste that WORKED and COST HIM NOTHING... but pitching a bread bag full of trash in a TRASH CAN (“throwing out”)... and you say “HOARDER” as if he’s a 17^th century Warlock.  AND:  “Throwing out” IS a very big part of (Yankee) Hoarding.  It is ... the sense... of ‘throwing out’.  It ...makes good sense... to throw out... to

            Yankee hoarders.

            Okay.  You see how this is getting... a little scattered?  ‘Hoard’ is more complex so... more scattered...  And even more so when the “Yankee” is prefixed.  ‘Hoard’ takes right off and leaves the simple old ‘filthy’ ‘magazine full’ ...hoard... crushes hoarder... as a stereotype slur.  ‘Hoard’ is so scattered so fast “IN” old New England that most just throw hands up, give up and say things like “I HATE CLUTTER”.  Particular gall follows that command when it comes from a ‘NOT I” hoard of hoards... hoarder.  Yes... the ‘denial’ hoarder..

            Why may I say this?  Because I am the one who knowingly seeks and evaluates ALL hoard... all the time.  It is my job; part of it:  To find and evaluate HOARD.  I am looking for .... GOOD.... JOBS (“good ones”); the “they were (VERY) good at it".  That is why I am so on top of this (Hoard).  It (a hoard) is a work site

            Of Yankees

            In old New England.

            “Good ones” stand right out.  Even in a dish on top of an old dresser.