Thursday, April 7, 2016

(Yankee) Hoarding - Part Five - "Pressure Cooker"


(Yankee) Hoarding

Part Five

"Pressure Cooker"



            Let me state right here, that... we... now distinguish... that a well crafted (“rounded”) hoard is NOT the vantage of the witch hunt postured hoardettes but is... the view of the (Yankee) hoard dee.
            And... that crying hoardette “witch!” is crying wolf and
            Is not heard
            Anyway
            By he/she hoard
            Dee.
            Crucial is... this door closed to
            Thee (?).
            How do I find an example of that?  We visit that other side; the ‘Dee’




            “ (Cass) Clymer would never let me into that shed.  I found no way in.  For years. YOU KNOW HOW HE IS (still is).  He doesn’t grapple.  And it is locked.”  FUNNY with his padlocks isn’t he.  YOU EVER SEE that TIN BOX of his (hoard of ) OLD padlocks.  And his damn (hoard of old) KEYS too.  Did you EVER?  No.  Of course not.  He doesn’t hoard and YOU say he DOES.  Now THAT is a PADLOCK.  That keeps YOU out.  Don’t it.
            Rick Rogers... speaking above... fancies himself one splendid antiques picker along the coastal plain... of Maine.
            So when he starts bragging about Clymer’s padlocked sheds (PLURAL) and his swing hand efforts to ‘get in’... I... “whose the Yankee” to all that but... always listen to the stories...
            Carefully
            And “exactly”.  Ricky ‘don’t know’ what he’s ‘look at’ and
            Clymer does know “THAT” and “THAT” (the ‘know’ and ‘Ricky don’t know’) “BUT”... in Yankee hoard lands; the hoard border lands
            Winner takes all?





            Clymer... he’s a crafty rascal and you’s ...never gonna notice it.  Ricky don’t.  I promise.  Ricky continues:
            “SO HE FUSS ME OFF.  IN the YARD as usual.  I say to him let’s GO IN that SHED today.  He says he don’t have the KEY.  I say I got the damn KEY and pull out the WAD.  HIM ALL EYES.  You know how he is.”  “DON’T YOU TELL ME YOU SEE A WAD LIKE THAT ROUND HERE” I say.”
            Now, I advise, Clymer got the wads to BURY that big dumb shit (Ricky).  KEEPS IT ALL IN OLD pressure cookers.  SEAL TIGHT them bastards.  TWELVE THOUSAND (‘gift tax’ value) in each one.  You thought you know your CASH.  You don’t.  Anyway... Clymer takes right at Ricky so it is like two BEARS on their HIND LEGS.  Some wad Ricky’s got and he should have just HANDED it over to Clymer RIGHT THERE.  STEAD... of being SKINNED.  That’s what happened.





            OUT come a KEY and the shed door folded back letting DAYLIGHT in and Ricky RUN RIGHT IN.  A big man and no... he don’t know.  NOW I been in that damn shed and Clymer won’t sell me.  Want me to FEEL IT for him.  All his HOARD.  Whatever I TOUCH turns to GOLD .  RIGHT CLYMAR?  Your reading this REAL CAREFUL ain’t you.  IF I TOUCH IT then “MAYBE”.  I’m on to you you old STAMP.  Remember that:  YOU THINK STAMPS ARE VALUABLE.  I’ll go with that; what your think
            IS VALUABLE.  Anyway.  That Ricky go right by what I know and...
            CLYMAR knows that so ... what happened to Ricky’s WAD no one will ever know except if you were there to watch him LOAD the
            Pile of SHIT
            HE “BOUGHT OFF” of Clymer; “OUT OF THE SHED”.  That fox (Clymer).  YOU GET IT NOW don’t you.  (Yankee) hoard knows when to ... “THROW OUT”.  Poor Ricky.
            Oh poor Ricky.




            What’s that mean?  It means if you gonna get out of counting your old seed packets in your clutter hoard garden shed (Part Four)... and
            COME OUT TO THE (hoard) FIGHT (Stand up like a bear)
            Come out to fight
            Yankee Hoard
            Real Yankee hoard... your gonna have to ‘go around’ a lot of (Yankee) hoard... AND KNOW IT when your doing that...
            In addition to knowing
            What your ‘look at’.




            OH yeah:  You think that (Yankee) Hoard is on the cover of a magazine?  (Part Three)  Don’t you just.  Better check your shoes; you stepped in something soft.  What do you think we wear boots for?  You come out here wearing shoes?  I mean:  “Really?”.
            So Clymer been throwing out from his sheds his whole lifetime and know ‘damn well’ that.  ONE DAY is another DAY of the WEEK that is MONTHS that is YEARS of Yankee hoard
            Management.
            Clymer... is the SEE... E... OH.  Want to check his resume?  Maybe you should volunteer at the bake sale tables down to the library.  What do you care if Clymer ‘gets in early’ to the annual book sale because them old girls think its his only chance to ‘get me some books to READ next WINTER’.  Get it?  He gets in.  And out.  AND
            “Hoard books?  Me?”
            This (Yankee Hoard) is... really... raw sewage when you SEE
            It from the hoard
            DEE.





            You think I haven’t been in Clymer’s damn OLD BOOK SHED?  You think RICKY has never bought “SIXTY BOXES OF BOOKS” from him?  Like he (Ricky) said to everyone; they were “GOOD BOOKS”.  “They were good books I sold him” Clymer said.  “Shouldn’t have given him THE DEAL.  Them’s GOOD books I sold him”.  Then he put the damn money in a
            Pressure cooker.
            “You STEP in something with your SHOES or do you
            Always smell like that?”
            Jesus.  Let’s not get Clymer started on his old TOOLS.  Just take old tools in your mind and take Ricky’s wad in your mind and... well...
            Fetch yourself a PRESSURE COOKER to use as you BANK and tell me how
            You make out
            Throwing out
            Yankee hoard.





            Now I bet your smart ass enough to realize that you probably don’t KNOW.  About (Yankee) hoard.  After all.
            “Wicked smart”.
            Dub
            Back your truck up.
            Load.
            Drive.
            Unload
            Close the shed door.
            Padlock it.








            Some bitch from the Moral Society Hygienic Specimen Supervision FUND... look’en for a “DONATION” for a “CHARITY SALE” found out the hard way that Clymer, from his hoard, always manages to get her
            To ‘choose something; anything you want.’
            THAT ACTUALLY SOLD at their damn sale.  Even after she tried to “FORCE” a footstool as her “IT”.  NO:  Clymer took her out back in the wood shed showed her that nice little chest he “FOUND” down by the Ester Mayberry estate when they were ‘cleaning out’.  She (the FUND bitch) “FINALLY TOOK IT” Clymer reported. “DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW DO THEY SOME FIGURE HER SHE IS SHIT.  I got a reputation to uphold.”
            That’s a hoard saying that.  Yeah; that’s right:  HOARD.  HOARDING.  HOARDER.  HOARD DEE.  HOARDETTE.  YANKEE
            PADLOCKED SHED DOOR.
            Pressure cooker BANK.





            “WIFE’S GOT SO MUCH GOD DAMN GOLD ON SHE drown IF SHE FALL OFF THE DOCK”.
            That’s right; more eighteen kay than YOU HAVE and KNOWS IT.  Knows ‘the difference’.  She says.
            What does she mean by that?
            SHE’S A GOD DAMN YANKEE HOARDER TOO.
            What does that mean?
            She knows how to padlock the sheds and that pressure cookers are banks.
            She knows how to ‘throw out’.  Too.










1 comment:

  1. If I could only get into that place, but then, like the dog that caught the bus, what would I do?

    ReplyDelete