Maggie's Store
Part Four
Well: Does that mean I was growing up on the
porch of Maggie’s Store? Seems to
me quite a bit came my way there... that didn’t seem to... come any other
way... so... why don’t we ALL have a “pop” on THAT!
MEANWHILE,
back inside, commerce was in full swing and this was because if one was to run
such a store as Maggie’s way out in the middle of No Where, Maine one was in a
position to have a very broad selection of “merchandise”. AND I don’t mean the “DEER HIDES
BOUGHT” sign or “FISHING LICENSES SOLD” sign or... the “CRAWLERS”, “FRESH
CORN”, “MAPS”, “CIDER”, “MAPLE SYRUP”, “FIREWOOD”, “FLY DOPE” and “ESKIMO
RUBBERS” signs. These last were
actually printed wooden boards that made up a wall by the door of the little
room “out” “back”. NOPE: MY grandmother weren’t there for no...
FLY DOPE.
“Anything
Maggie?” was an opening to the “YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE IF YOU WANT” period of the
visit and that old fat proprietary HOG; deer hide buying, in-grown blackhead
faced, candy bar gobbling WOMAN sold the ANTIQUES too. HOLY “DON’T SPILL YOUR SODA!” and
“THEY” were going into HER HOUSE and into HER BARN and, “CANDY CORN!”, that sun
was going to SET before “WE” “got out of there”.
Is
it “we got out of there” or is it “WHAT we got out of there”? “That’s hand made” and “That’s old”
and... “IS THAT a REAL powder horn?”.
HOLY BLOODY GROUND and I CUDDLED THAT ALL THE WAY HOME. You’d ah TOO if you were five and...
DANIEL BOONE. I didn’t even know
WHICH SHOULDER to hang it on and “IF I ONLY had a MUSKET”. COONSKIN CAP did I begged my
grandmother to “get me one of those I know you can”. An “Old Critter” “musket” was TWICE as tall as I was. “YEAH, yeah, yeah and YOU don’t know
ANYTHING anyways unless YOU’S been to Maggie’s Store” summarized my age five
philosophic view of …ALL.
THEN
I didn’t know what was happening to me but NOW I know that I was what is called
“be’en inFECTed” by the “antique bug”.
That’s what ...they... called it THEN. And THEY was already SOME infected because before we left
Maggie’s we always had what is known as “a” “load”. And you know what:
MY GRANDMOTHER would actually KEEP some of the things she “bought” from
Maggie’s Store. And I know what
that means NOW but back then, except for OBVIOUS THINGS like that powder horn,
that was WEIRD for “her to do”.
Course it all wouldn’t “fit” in the “car” so “her man” would “come down”
and “fetch it”. And of course that
BACK SEAT had to “be able to get THAT in” chairS “with me” and the “bag”
of “DON’T BREAK IT!” “china”. “Old
china[1]”
that is... OLD CHINA to go with the OLD glass and all “not packed too good” so
“careful” “on the bridge”.
“The
GREEN kerosene lamp YES that one.” and “I don’t know Maggie as that’s more than
the LAST one.”
“No: The blue one YES that and how much
again?”. It was endless! THEN I had to have the stuff in my FACE
all the way home. But that was OK
because I was too busy thinking I was gonna barf from all the unsupervised
candy I ate.
And
I pissed in the old outhouse out back before we left. No one ever used that except me I’m sure because it, well,
was OBVIOUS no one was gonna “butt down” in there because these creepy weeds
were growing up out of the hole and they were this starved yellow-green color
proving that they come out of the hole just to try and get OUT of the
OUTHOUSE. But it didn’t smell
except sort-ta like old composted hay.
And everything smelled like that.
And no one ELSE ever used the outhouse except that... once or twice... I
DID see a little tuff of NOSE tissue tossed into that one hole with NO weeds
and, well, THAT meant that some woman “from away” had “been allowed” to “use
it”.
[1]: These two witches did not use the word
“paste” for this “old china”. It
would be near another ten years before I’d pick (hunt antiques) with someone
who called it “paste” or “old paste” or... “THE old paste” but, I’ll get to
that in another story.
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