(Yankee) Hoarding - Part Six (B) - "Alternative Asset Allocation Management"

(Yankee) Hoarding

Part Six (B)

"Alternative Asset Allocation Management"

            “This is not appearing to be the way I think it is.”  A ‘review’ at this opening... is needed?  Yes it is for... for most little league antiquarians, who fancy ‘I am a picker’, the discern of mounded ‘hoard’ compliant with the ‘there be a hoarder hoarding nearby’ scat dropping identification... is hardly... compliant... with the propositions that the ‘this hoard’ is a conscious developed scat site AND be... too... a sort of financial wizardry; an ‘alternative asset... of allocated funds... perpetually tweaked (‘managed’).  Yes it is much easier to simply attend the ‘antiques show’ and ‘fit’ the ‘small table I like’ into

            “Ahhhh”...

            “Your”...

            What is it you do with antiques?

            Well... What you do is not the same as a (good-at-it) (Yankee) hoarder does (do) ‘with antiques’.  And the science of this (Yankee) hoard... is not for you anyway.  You are not a hoarder.  I promise.  It will take you “YEARS” to ‘get good at that’ (be a ‘knowing’ hoarder).  As for setting this up as some sort of private equity risk speculation as a (hedge?) fund of... “IS HOARD A LIQUID ASSET?”

            There’s a question for you.

            Answer it:  What do you think?

            I recommend you don’t think but... FEEL:  What do you FEEL.

            Look at the hoard.  Is it possible that... found... on the ground... this mound... hoards real treasure?  And that THAT is for the hoarder hoarding to know and, appropriately, for you to NOT... with ‘not’ as an expanded body of value... equal to “NOT (for) YOU”.

            Once that gateway is denoted then the leavings at the scat site are... the hoard... the hoarder... and the ...shadow third player...; ‘the knowing’.

            Now my working policy of being cleaver at being the this shadow third player comes to me fair and square as ‘the knowing’ BUT I long ago qualified that my inter-relations with a hoard and its hoarder is ... ‘not front line’ enough for me... meaning that I gather from the same sources as the (Yankee) hoard assemblage and TOO be ‘knowing’ of all that so... prefer to step away from the practiced hoard of (Yankee) hoarders but CANNOT for they, as body, are a skilled, active and reliant force that is too... “IN MY FACE” there.... all the time... TOO.  Re-polishing this ‘mirror shining bright’:  Once we get rid of you there are only us and we cannot help but to bump into each other... CONSTANTLY.  Example?  Back (in Part Five) when Clymer goes early to the book sale... WHO does he compete with?  HUH?

            ME.

            So... “WE”... and the “OLD BOOKS” at the Library Sale “early”.  Okay?  Get it?  It is a very small world very fast once we... get rid of you.  “Fine.”  You say?

            You don’t have any choice because... YOU DON’T KNOW.  So hoard in a hoard pile calculatingly assembled by a private equity firm having a fund asset allocation management shell ...does not go away... and I don’t want it to either.  “IT” does actually “FIND” and MANAGE and...  I am there for that... hoping what?  An ‘it’ is ‘so good’ it is beyond the management capacity of the hoard fund and I ‘pick it off’ or that it is a ‘not what was thought to be’ fall back “no need to worry about that”.  Which is better?  You tell me.  YOU’RE THE one with the finger pointed at the hoard and its hoarder.  I’m... just passing through.

            Okay, I will try it again.  Old books again (the traditional gold star grade first level ‘hoard’) (see Part Two).  Established is ‘book’ ‘hoard’.  Here found as FOUR stories (basement and attic hoard allowance [“allocation”] too) with a title of ‘rare bookseller’, venerable half century long career ‘bookman’ (“hoarder”).  How many rooms in the building?  ONLY ONE ROOM IS A GOOD ONE.  Which one?  Why?  With this scale of knowing hoard and hoarder... only the very true ‘rare book’ is ... my prey (quarry).  There are tons and tons and tons of old books on all floors everywhere... BUT... the hoard is ‘of knowing’.  THAT I KNOW so... where is the knowing one’s HOARD of old books the hoardee... could not... “ahhhh...” figure out; the ‘rare’.  NEXT TO THE BED... in the bedroom ...fourteen rooms and four floors away... from where I enter to confront a WALL of ‘old books’ about... “Irish History”.  No:  (Those are NOT good old books).  Off we go.  How many YEARS of knowing hoard hunting does it take me to get to the books in the bedroom.  I mean I am not just escorted there.  No way Frodo.  YEARS of scat pile hoard old book scat picking... one room, one floor, one peanut butter sandwich on stale bread, dirty clothes, cats... dim dark no light...:  OH YOU’VE REALLY GOT TO KNOW to do hoard this way.  You do not stand a chance... and a chance against me either.  The two of us (hoarder and I)... ‘doing this’...

            HATE YOU.

            Too.

            That is probably the biggest common denominator of this; we agree on that; hate of hoard haters.  That is what it is; the ‘you are’.  So... sorry about that part but look

            You never considered  (Yankee) hoard to be other than a ‘someone’s mess’.  Really:  An ‘investment portfolio’.  Like... “no”.  Your still not there with that.  You don’t know what it is to know... so you have no... leverage... on this slippery scat pile of hoard.  And would not know a ‘knowing’ even if you visited a hoard and walked around in it discoursing upon ‘how INTERESTING’ you “FIND” all this.  (Yankee) hoard is about YANKEE HOARD.  It is NOT about you.  It ‘goes on’ without you.  Always.  Ok... maybe you buy one thing once from one hoard’s hoard pile... once... maybe.  And you keep it (hoard it) too... to “start” you say... to be a being ‘good’ at (Yankee) hoard.  Maybe a like what?  A Colonial era pewter charger?  How about an old book of local history?  Maybe an old sign that says “MAINE”.  Or an old photograph of a dead person... from when they were still alive.  An ‘oil painting’ that you “like”?  It’s a horror show.  You... reaching out to touch hoard is... horrible.  I see it all the time.  You... show me... “what I (you) bought”.

            The landscape of (Yankee) hoard is professional.  Professional to professional.  The more ‘out’ (private equity venture funds ‘spent’) the more ‘professional to professional’.  That’s why it seems so stand-off-ish.  It is ... out there... in the borderlands of hoard.  Jostling... position... markets.  Control.  Knowledge.  Old saints... these ‘of hoard’ be?

            Reverie of Saints.  With their old books, paintings... fabrics, silver, ceramics, glassware... decorative work... bangles, hairnets and shoe collections (Part Two).  That’s right; we include you in it... even though we do not feel you are very good at it.  We all clap the day you step up to the plate and swing at a fast ball

            Of ‘old art’.

            Think of that; an ‘old art’ ‘fast ball’ crossing the plate in front of you... as it peeks out from the muck of a hoard pile.  “By the way... you missed me”... it does not say to you... when you step away; a ‘pass it by’.  It is only a (Yankee) hoard of a hoarding (Yankee) hoarder.

            “Better

            LOOK

            Next time.

            Right?

            That is the summarial value... for the lay voyeur... of the discernment... that hoard, hoarder... and hoarding... IS a conscious action of ‘wealth management’ (Part Six [A]) taking place in a messy pile down the road from ‘home’ “on the other side – over there”.  “I went there once.” It is a ‘peek’ of a ‘boo’

            From you.

            “Alternative asset allocation” and its management... is left to us.  Discrimination and horse trading.  Value, perception, denotation, bartering, bickering, bragging, arm wrestling, cash counting and... ‘throwing out’ (beginning Part Two and thereafter )... are all...

            Your not around.

            To believe that a sense of sensitivity will come of a ‘no hoard’ person for a ‘hoard’ and its management team(s) is unlikely.  Positioning select acquisitions of self back-patted ‘I like’ taste... will not ever be hoard.  It is, at best, a ‘playing school’ and/or ‘playing store’ and/or... a more complex delusion that... early on... assures the hoard is a hoard, the hoarder is a hoarder and the hoarding is a

            Horror.

            Hoarders live and die in their hoards.  They understand that.  Their hoard does not ‘go with them’.  The hoarder leaves.  The hoard... is an... alternative asset allocation left behind... and is distributed.  That is a ‘doesn’t matter how’.  Hoard, especially good knowing hoard is the profile of the hoarder.  How good at hoard determines the life profile and the death mask... of a hoarder.  “They have great things”.  “In there”:

            “You’ve never been IN?  Oh they have just WONDERFUL THINGS.  HER MOTHER was FRENCH.  They bought the old Shelby house.  Her family moved to BOSTON.  THEN UP HERE.  Many of her family’s things came over from ENGLAND.  A lot of it was still in the shipping boxes when I saw it.  NEVER EVEN OPENED.  The place is just FULL of old SHIPPING BOXES.  All of it came on BOATS back then.  JUST WONDERFUL THINGS in there.  How did you say you got in?  Marvelous.  Simply marvelous the treasure you’ll FIND in there.  They never threw ANYTHING away.  Just PERFECT (Yankee) HOARDERS; the whole family was.”