Old New England Glassware in the Home - Part Twenty-Four - "Take a Nappie"

Old New England Glassware in the Home

Part Twenty-Four

"Take a Nappie"

            It is easy to do

            The “I DON’T KNOW how THAT HAPPENED” and

            It is all over the place on the

            Passenger’s side with plastic lid off but the

            Straw still sticking out it (the lid) and the

            Traffic is unbelievable and THE WHOLE CUP

            IS sloshing back and forth in passenger’s foot well after

            Going right across the (passenger’s) seat.

            It (the passenger’s side seat fabric) is a TWEED PATTERN; not TWEED though

            Just a pattern on a

            Plastic FABRIC:

            They’re not going to use REAL WOOL TWEED

            On a car seat IDIOT so, like...:

            I pull over into the breakdown lane and turn my

            Emergency flashers ON to like I

            NEED

            My spill holder

            Right now.

            “I THOUGHT THESE CUP HOLDERS WERE SUPPOSED TO WORK!”

            If anything is probable one knows that one always should bring their spill holder with them when one travels in their new (age of)... new (opposite of ‘old’ New England)... New England (region of usage)... SUV (design style) with a beverage contained in the requisite waxed paper cup-glass with its plastic lid and/or plastic straw or “I tore” sip hole FULL OF IT.

            Yeah “full of it”:  That’s where we need to go right now.  You leave your damn spill holder home EVERY time you go out so NO WONDER retard that MESS is ALWAYS.  Of course there is so much SUGAR in that anyway it’s NEVER gonna “COME OUT” and your starting a friggen ANT FARM under that plastic TWEED on the

            Passenger’s side.

            “Herringbone” IS just like MY JACKET.

            But plastic alright I know that

            Already.  Jesus.”

            There is no dignity left and it is all sugar coated plastic anyway in the

            New... New England home?

            “And I love my car too”.

            So why do you leave your spill holder home?

            “I ...do ...not ...have a... spill... holder and I

            DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT ONE IS

            and I

            DO NOT CARE so

            SHUT-UP.”

            There was once a decency ...of dignity... when:

            “Softly falls the light of day... turning daylight into gray.”

            (I wrote that.  I am quoting myself.)

            Rising, a hand touched a... glassware... vessel holding rolled slips of old newspaper that resembled (anticipated?) the design form called ‘cigarette’.  Procuring a single ‘spill’ from this spill holder (and noticing to self that ‘my daughters made them’; hand rolled the ‘spills’), this cigarette of paper was taken to the kitchen cook stove where the front cap of the wood box was opened to admit (in a rapid plunge) the hand holding the spill and, plunged down, ignites that cigarette of paper (‘spill’).  Up and out and out and back to the ... it was not a ‘living room’ then.  It was a ‘the parlor’.  The hand holding the burning ‘spill’ ignites the... table top... ‘fluid’ lights (plural) ‘in the room’.  Still burning, this ‘spill’ is ‘put’ into the ...cast iron “STOVE” (mid nineteenth century locally made [“cast iron”] ‘heating’... ‘stove’.

            “I do not know IF we NEED the (wood burning heating stove) fire tonight”.  

That is the story

Of the life

Of a ‘spill’.

The life story of the ... ‘spill holder’ is longer...

            OR IS IT LOST?

            Do I care if ...you care... about ‘spill holders’?

            I don’t.

            Do I care if ...you have... a ‘spill holder’?

            I don’t.

            I ‘find them’ all the time.  My favorite find format is... to no real surprise at this point in the essay... IS the ...bottom of the cupboards in the dining rooms where they (spill holders and their remaining spills) have ‘long been’

            “PUT AWAY”.

            “YEAH LIKE THE BIGGEST problem with that is ...stopping the IDIOT ‘in the home’ owner from ‘throwing out’ the... now very old... brittle and age toned brown... ‘spills’

            “NO!” describes best what happens if I... am somehow forced to “rescue mission” the ‘spills’ in a ‘spill holder’ when

            THE IDIOT

            Owner... somehow reaches past my SAYING NOTHING exploration of the cupboard bottom and like...

            “YOU KNOW:  WHAT DO YOU THINK:  SOMEONE JUST ROLLED UP old newspaper and put them in that (old New England glassware in the home) GLASS like

            AS A JOKE?”

            So I stop that; the ‘throwing out’.  NOW WHAT DO I DO?  EXPLAN the life story of the spill to them (THE IDIOT).

            Ok... so NOW your beginning to get over spilling your “COFFEE” or what ever that rot you drink is.

            You see now... don’t you... that THIS (the cupboard bottom) is a PLACE of ... old New England GLASSWARE in the HOME... undisturbed.  AND I KNOW IT... when I see it.  It

            IS PRECIOUS.  I didn’t touch it.  THEY DID; the idiots.

            I did the intervention rescue.

            “HOW?” did I you say.

            I say, after the “NO!”... “I want those” (the old spills).  And try as hard as I can to say NOTHING MORE

            To the idiot.

            That’s just the ‘spills’.  Want to try talking to them about ‘spill’ ‘holder’?

            Yeah; you got it:  THE JOKE. 

            The spill holder is a ...classic design form... found ‘in’ (as a form of) EAPG.  It looks like a little short vase or ...chocolate sundae ‘dish’.  I can’t get the description much ‘lower that bar’ than that... huh.

            You’d miss it?

            “Yeah.”

            I wouldn’t.  I don’t.  You know what:

            “I like them  (EAPG spill holders)

            Too.”

            Sick of this (discourse)?

            So am I.

            Let us go, then, to the farmer’s market.  WE ALL like those and vegetables and eat those and, like...:

            The girls with the bushel baskets of turnips?  Yeah...they are cute (the turnips).  No one eats turnips... in the NEW... New England.  They just... like... look... at the ...baskets... full.

            “No money” ‘in turnips’.

            So like... your there; at the farmer’s market and like:

            It’s not gonna happen.

            “WHAT?”

            The celery; they ‘grew it’ themselves.  Like... you know... ‘hoed it up’.  Crisp, white, with the roots... leafy... yellow green.... yellow... white... crisp... morning cool

            Celery.

            “You like celery but you don’t eat that much of it?  Really?

            “Ok... I know that.  THEY...ah... used to get the buckets of water from the well and fill the pitchers from the buckets with the WELL WATER and the pitcher was ‘for the water for the (dining) table but they

            Put the celery sticks in the

            Well water too that they poured from the water pitcher too

            Into

            The celery vase.

            “Oh.”

            The celery sticks in the water in the celery vase on the table were to

            Eat

            And a lot of times out in the kitchen someone just grabs ‘a (celery) stick

            Out of the vase when they were going by and ate it while walking ‘out

            Through the shed’

            For years

            And years.

            The celery vase was always used to always have the celery sticks in it for

            Everyone

            To eat.

            Celery was a

            Treat.

            The ‘celery vase’ holds the celery from the garden for everyone to eat.  It is an EAPG vessel that “NO IT IS NOT A ‘VASE’ for “FLOWERS”.  It is too... vertical.  Too rugged, too ‘well designed’ to ‘serve’ celery and NOT ‘tip over’.  “Yeah”:  Look... you don’t eat enough celery anyway.  And you don’t think ice cold well water chilled celery sticks in an old New England glassware... celery vase... in the home... is a

            TREAT.

            So like... WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER TO GO TO the farmer’s market?’

            “Because this one woman makes these super ‘cinnamon melts’.”

            “Oh... Ok... those were... like... (before the Civil War)... served on a (EAPG) ‘nappie’ (nappy).”

            “I DON’T TAKE A NAPPIE”.

            Is, today, a ‘spill holder’ a roll of

            Paper towels?

            “I ALWAYS KEEP A ROLL IN THE CAR

            JUST IN CASE”.