Trimming Grass and Weeds Around Old New England Property Granite Landscape Fixtures - Part Four - "The Corruption"

Trimming Grass And Weeds Around

Old New England Property

Granite Landscape Fixtures

Part Four

"The Corruption"

            For I to continue to carry the opening of this vignette’s title; “Trimming Grass and Weeds Around”... I have to expand it by allusion... to include... the inclusion... that “Trimming” may mean “Trimming” the actual “Granite Landscape Fixture” itself; the actual ‘elimination of’ “Granite Landscape Fixtures” from... the whole body of “old New England property”... “granite landscape fixtures”... AND... that is TOO... to say that this whole body of (“old New England property granite landscape fixtures”)... is keeper of ‘grass and weeds’ that must be... MUST BE... ‘trimmed’.  Should a reader have been...disturbed... by the seeming snotty-ish of the millstone ‘placing’ (Part Three), et al; the exclusive ‘no wiggle room’... this ‘trimming’ in this chapter makes that ‘trimming’ seem a ‘swell guy’... “neat and tidy”...I (eye).

            I am at a fork of the paths of... old New England property granite landscape fixtures.  One fork follows “NICE”... the other fork follows... “The Corruption”.  I prefer “NICE” and... I WILL travel that forked path soon enough

            BUT

            Will first follow... the fork... of the path... of

            OUR (the reader and I)

            “Old New England property granite landscape fixture”...

Corruptions.

“Invasive you say?”

            Again the review... to assist with the “carry”.  I began with the weed whacker at the end of the driveway ‘get rid of it’ “FREE”.  Replaced with the grass clipper WE clipped two granite landscape fixtures only to ...discern... by observation of other ‘old New England property landscape fixtures that are NOT ‘granite’ (‘the compost’) that... “I am done” trimming for very... very... very little ‘grass and weeds’ are trimmed on ... old New England properties.  This I carried to the millstone where I trimmed ‘nothing’ for it (the millstone) ‘carries up’ its ‘harmonized’ ...within the old New England property by being ‘not trimmed’ and

            AND

            That the ‘placing’ of the... grass and weed mired (?) millstone on the old New England property... as a granite landscape fixture was ...further amplified by ...consciously...

            “Hide them (granite landscape fixtures on one’s old New England property) away.”  That is:  One properly displays one’s granite landscape fixtures ...on one’s old New England property... when they are placed... within their weeds and grass around issues TOO... so to be ‘not noticed’ it is ‘there’.

            Now then... WHAT could be a... “horrific” that surpass all “THAT”?

            Well... fraud... and the forms of this fraud... OF... old New England property... granite landscape fixtures.

            Frauds:  “fakes”, “imports”, “slight of stone”, “NEW”, “reproduction”, “just like” “look alikes”, “composites”, “phony forms”, “cement”, “cement again”, “faux style”, “European”, “French”, “FROM VERMONT I think”, “Canadian”, “Amish”, “looks old”, “cement again-again, “mold casts”... “not from the continent of North America”... and.... “the idiots” who “don’t know any better”.

            I stated above... and this (fraud) is, you and I see now... “horrific”.  Ignoring south of Boston ‘old New England’... a north of Boston coastal Route One road trip will “FIND” all of the frauds... ‘for sale... roadside... all... all... all ‘along that way’.  AND I bet one reading does not NEED to have an expostulation of-each-of-all of these ‘frauds’ to ... ‘better well’ get the general idea of “WHAT” “The Corruption” IS.  And... the... “its consequence” that “IS” should one... ‘turn up’ “WITH THAT” ... “in the yard” no matter HOW deep in the ‘grass and weeds’ YOU... ‘hide them away’.  No... mold cast cement faux Italianate influence ‘bird bath’ “I’m going to PAINT IT”

            “Horrific”.

            “Phony millstones you say?”

            “Troughs are a nightmare you say?”

The easy path to ‘safe’?  Make no ‘acquisition’ of ‘granite landscape fixtures’ for a “MY” old New England property without

            Professional

            “Help” and

            If a ‘store’ has more than one millstone for sale.... LEAVE.

            “Good” (millstones) are found ‘hunting on’... old... New England property... property.

            And expect... for the ‘a good one’, to spend the rest of one’s life ‘doing that’.  Do notice that the granite landscape fixture... properly well selected... (includes the word ‘expensive’)... for the ‘old New England property’ WILL ‘out live you’ so... are... a considerate ‘leave behind’ to ...self.  Yes... ‘good ones’ even look good AFTER ‘your dead’.  The history of their ownership (and placement) IS THAT ‘look good after your dead’  I... only ‘have’ ‘from dead people’.  I... “never” ‘from a store’.  Granite landscape fixtures on old New England properties are a... never... ‘taken to the dump’...too.

            They are handed (by hand) (‘on property’)

            Down.

            I feel that ...we... understand ‘the corruption’.  And that we understand the consequence of a self embracing any part of ‘the corruption’.  And that we have... in fact... all of us... ‘regularly see’ (particularly in the mold-cast-cement-faux-Italianate-bird-bath) “IT” ‘enough’ to “KNOW”

            Better?

            No... we (WE) cannot ‘go that far’.  There are ‘too many’ cement mold cast Winnie the Pooh pop up ‘chunks’ of “ISN’T HE adorable I JUST LOVE HIM” in the their “YOU CALL THAT a (your) GARDEN”.  “The corruption”... protected within the congestion of old New England... is “NEXT DOOR THEY HAVE ONE” ‘winning’.

            Just smile?

            And?

            It doesn’t work... but... that they DO NOT notice ‘our’ millstone

            DOES WORK

            “You’ve got to hide your (authentic)

            (old New England property granite landscape fixtures)

            Away”.

            A story of my first contact with an “old New England property granite landscape fixture” to ease the painful ‘horrific’ discernment of ‘the corruption’ from days long ago that IN FACT does STILL be able to HAPPEN TODAY... for the knowing

            I (eye)?

            I was... like ... eight or ten and Robbie (Robert; he lived across the street and we were ‘in school’ ‘together’) so “Larry”... who we called “Mr. Hunt” and the women of the village called “Mansfield”... but I figure NOW must have been ‘Mansfield Lawrence Hunt” (or Lawrence Mansfield Hunt?) who “CAPTAIN” had his ‘boots blown off’ when ‘Kraut’ ‘shells’ ‘hit his jeep’ and... this isn’t about World War II so:

            He “had” (drove) an “International Scout” that had “FOUR WHEEL DRIVE”.  And the date line on this is AFTER Sputnik and BEFORE John Glenn and... “WE” (Robbie and I) “LOVED” ‘going in that’ so when Mr. Hunt said he ...needed us... to go out to “BROOK’S” pig pen to “HELP HIM” that means WE go in “THE SCOUT” and we already always went to Brook’s pig pen anyway to scratch the pigs on their backs with sticks so... like... the PIGS already “KNOW US” but Mr. Hunt TODAY has old Randy Roberts ‘coming too’ in his “TRUCK” that  pulls the trailer with his “LITTLE JOHN” “bulldozer” on it but ...he didn’t have that on the trailer “TODAY”.

            So we all drive out there; to Brook’s pig pen.

            Arty Brooks is there at the pig pen.

            WE (Robbie and I) are up on the fenced side of the pig pen with our sticks scratching the pigs back while they ‘snout up’ at us until Mr. Brooks brings over ...more than usual... bushel baskets of cauliflowers, broccolis, carrot toppings and the rest of that vegetables (‘en stuff) and the BIG bucket of the muck mush with the SPOONS to “NOT TOO MUCH OF THAT AT ONCE BOYS” he always had too so WE were doing OUR job RIGHT while the men ‘seed too’ ...something in the pig pen pushed back under the pig muck against the BARN WALL.

            OH and I got to say that “Mr. Switchel” was there TOO.  Good old Mr. Switchel was ALWAYS around when WE “WENT TO” in “THE SCOUT” with Mr. Hunt.  Mr. Switchel was... ah... kept in the back of “The Scout” in this red and black plaid with light brown sides PLASTIC case that the zippers didn’t work anymore.  INSIDE the case had a matching plaid thermos and FOUR brown plastic cups that Mr. Hunt poured Mr. Switchel into IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.  Everyone of the MEN were always asking Mr. Hunt where ever we went did “Mr. Switchel come along TODAY TOO?”.  So they had a “CHAT” with Mr. Switchel and PIPE SMOKED at the BACK corner by the BURIED ...pig pen... ‘thing’.  Until

            THEY (the men) said “DUMP THE REST IN FOR ‘EM (the pigs) and “COME HELP” so

            We did that and were then IN THE PIG PEN ‘back there’ holding “PIECE OF BOARD” “in there watch your fingers” while the MEN “pry bar” this ‘six foot long’... what we ALL know now was an “Old New England FARM hand ‘cut’ granite ‘quarried on the property’ trough” that the PIGS had long ago routed back against the barn “WALL” and “BURIED” that some how... Mr. Hunt had...

            Spied.

            Noted.

            Brought up.

            Dickered it.

            Got it

            Fixed

            Price

            CASH.

            And now... WE were... ‘picking it up’ after ‘digging it out’, ‘moving it out (of the pig pen), ‘moving it across (the farm yard) and ‘getting it on’ Mr. Robert’s trailer to ‘take’ to Mr. Hunt’s “HOUSE”.  Each stage of this “PROJECTED” was “HELP from MR. SWITCHEL” “TOO”.

            And Mr. Hunt being real, real, real careful about the “BOYS GET THAT BOARD IN THERE (behind the BAR) to “NOT SCRATCH IT”.  He kept saying THAT and WE

            Move this old granite farm pig pen trough onto a PLANK using “ROLLERS” (wooden dowels) and then, using larger “ROLLERS”, moved the trough on the plank onto the TRAILER without anyone “SCRATCHING IT” and ...even though it was ‘dirty’ it was actually pretty easy to MOVE and

            Mr. Switchel was there too along with the PIPE SMOKE and Robbie and I going back to scratching the pigs except that one of them was “SO FULL” it “LAID DOWN” and “WON’T MOVE” went to sleep.

            Then we took it (the granite tough) to Mr. Hunt’s “HOUSE” and “unloaded it”.  That was easy.  Mr. Switchel wasn’t there but... Mr. Hunt’s WIFE was.  SHE was just cooing ‘bout “IT” (the trough).  We put it on the edge of the “DRIVE WAY” toward where “YOU GO TO THE FRONT DOOR” but ...you’d “GO BY IT” without “noticing” “IT”.  It was there ‘like that’ for a quarter century.

            Mr. Hunt died.

            Mr. Switchel died too.

            MRS. Hunt ‘kept’ “IT” (the trough) “just the same” UNTIL

            SHE ‘had to be moved out’

            THEN

            The trough ‘disappeared’ ‘up to’ ‘one of the KID’S’ “DOWN IN FRONT OF

            THE BARN”

            Where I

            Have tried to buy it ‘off ‘em’ several times and

            IT

            IS STILL THERE RIGHT NOW TODAY.

            “You ain’t gonna get it.”

            “You say?”